To discuss a month in review: November 2009

November was full of food, sick dogs, Westminster dog shows, and Al Roker bundled up like a Ho Ho. Let's take a look back at this overlooked month, before we get too full of the holiday spirit. Here's the November Month in Review.

For a flashback, here's November 2008. Coincidentally, I make fun of the same actress in both reviews.

Favorite movie: "Australia" Other than the fact it's 3-plus hours, it's a visually stunning movie. For the ladies, there's Hugh Jackman being all Jackmany. For the guys, there's Nicole Kidman, being all pursed-lipsy. Well worth watching, and gives insight into a form of racism you don't hear about in the U.S.

Runner-Up: "I Could Never Be Your Woman" Did you know Paul Rudd was in this? I randomly found it on Comcast movies, and just assumed it was done before he became famous, what with the set and props straight from the 90s and the lack of exposure for the movie. Nope. It was made in 2007. Michelle Pfeiffer is in it, too. It's a great comedic showcase for Rudd, and abysmal for everything else. Bonus trivia point: Rudd was in "Clueless." Stacey Dash, who played Cher's friend, is in this movie, too, playing an actress who stars on a high school show. Bonus trivia point 2: Stacey was about 41 when this movie came out.

Least favorite movie: "Bring It On, All or Nothing" It's almost as if the writers wanted to see how stereotypical racist they could get in one teen movie. Hayden Panties is afraid to park in certain areas because she sees black people nearby. Solange Knowles calls Hayden "white girl" and assumes she can't dance. The white students don't trust the black/Hispanic students, and the black/Hispanic students are A) poor and B) loud. Other than that, it's a fine example of youth culture teens should look up to. Oh, and Hayden couldn't act her way out of a wet panty liner.

Runner-up: "Twilight"

Favorite song: "In Case of Rapture" As Tall As Lions. Take a look at the lyrics. It's an interesting case against Bible thumpers. "I saw no fire in your street/just the stones you've thrown at me/Does it make you feel better?/Well, you know we're all just sinners." Of course, just by listing this song, someone will probably pray for me.


Least favorite song: Any Christmas song played before Thanksgiving listed in my poll (did you vote yet?)

Favorite TV Show: "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" might be the best reality show you're not watching. You may remember Tabatha from Sheer Genius. On this show, she spends a week at a salon, fixing problems, improving the workmanship and giving out attitude adjustments willy nilly. Yes, willy nilly. It's glorious.

Runner-up:"So You Think You Can Dance." I warmed up to it, after initially not wanting to like it because they just had a season this summer. If you didn't know, I do recaps/interviews on it over at my other blog, Real Blogger. Side note: Has anyone noticed how Nigel says completely inappropriate sexual comments about the teen girls on the show? Or is that just me?

Worst TV show: The Saturday Night Live hosted by January Jones. When your best scene involves Grace Kelly breaking wind like a teenager at Taco Bell, you know it's a rough night. It didn't help the Black Eyed Peas were the musical guests.

Best moment: Thanksgiving with Capricorn's family and then with my family. I ate more turkey in one day than the Surgeon General recommends. And I'm pretty sure my dad made a sex joke at one point, which would be a landmark event.

Worst moments: Taking Leo to the vet.

Best decision: Deciding to go to Chicago for another journalism conference, even if I wore holes in my socks from walking around so much. But at least I got to sing karaoke.

Favorite Blog Post by Me: Writing an apology letter to Thanksgiving.

Blogger of the Month: I'll hold off on this until I do my December review, since I didn't get much time to do blog reading (and I'm sure I'm not alone on that.)

To discuss a month in review: I'm in heat for August

I can't enter September without singing in my head, "See yoouuuu, in September, see youuuuu, when the summer's through!" Man, that's a good song. On to the August Month in Review.

Favorite movie: "Eagle Eye" I want to not like Shia LaBeouf. But I keep liking him, and he's emininently likeable in this thriller, even if it's ridiculous and begs the question, "Why don't they just pull the power cord?" (If you've seen it, you'll know what I mean). Still good, though.

Runner-up: The Express, about Ernie Davis, the first black guy to win the Heismann. I'm a sucker for based on a true story movies that involve sports, like Remember the Titans or Mighty Ducks. Wait, Mighty Ducks isn't based on a true story? No Goldberg? No Flying V? *dreams shattered*

Least favorite movie: White Chicks. It's funny, but on basic principle, I can't like a movie that wants you to believe the Wayans brothers pass as white chicks just because they have make-up on. Or that they pass as actors just because they're in a movie.

Favorite song: "Summertime," Will Smith, because it's the last time I get to hear it for about 8 months.

Capricorn's Favorite Songs: "Hotel Room Service," Pitbull. On our trip to Pittsburgh a few weeks ago, Capricorn practically demanded XM Radio play it. They did. Again. And again. We agreed this song is way more raunchy than any song should be, what with lines like, "Oh, you the healthy type. Well, here goes some egg whites." Capricorn's runner up: "She Wolf" Shakira. Capricorn spent many night going around the apartment going, "There's a she wolf in the closet, let it out so it can breathe, ooowOOOO!"

Least favorite song: Did I mention Pitbull tries to entice ladies with a chorus that goes "Hotel, motel, Holiday Inn"? Does he think they want a free continental breakfast after the all-night orgy? He couldn't spring for a Radisson? But he gets a bonus point for having Feisty from For the Love of Ray J in his video (which is probably NSFW... or church... or in front of your mother)


Favorite album: Jock Jams! Just kidding.

Best TV Show: "Hard Knocks" HBO. Follows the training camp of the Cincinnati Bengals, which is like watching a train wreck up close as it happens (now I know what Hoda feels like on the Today show's fourth hour). Unfortunately, no one was arrested during camp so far, but there are still two episodes left.

Worst TV show: NYC Prep. I read the book of Revelations before, and there's a verse in some versions of the Bible that mention a reality show about bratty rich kids being the sign of the apocolypse. Runner-up: Re-runs of everything. You can only watch HGTV re-runs so much, or MTV, or Bravo, before you pine for the fall season in earnest. I'd take a new episode of Melrose Place at this point.

Best moment: Spending the weekend in Pittsburgh. Went to a Pirate game with my best friend from high school and his gf, and Capricorn, and, for some reason, the Pirates decided not to suck, which is as rare as seeing Jon and Kate hug. Then, on Sunday, Capricorn and I went on a pontoon boat ride with my family-- Capricorn's first boat ride ever. She was convinced the boat would capsize, and had us shift to different parts of the (well-balanced) boat to even things out. I told her there aren't many pontoon boat fatalities in a man-made lake.

Worst moments: For the dogs, it might have been when Capricorn busted out her box-o-costumes. But I happened to think it was hilarious.

Best decision: Starting this blog one year ago, as of Aug. 1.

Favorite Blog Post by Me: Really, this is its own entity. Everything Ben of No Ordinary Rollercoaster and I did for our special short-term blog, We Are Cosmo, is among literature's finest. It's only a matter of time before Barnes & Noble paint our visage in their coffee shops among the Whitmans, Steinbecks and Austens of the world.

Favorite Blog Entry by Someone Else: Other than Ben's We Are Cosmo contributions (please see his vlog entry), there was the hilarious blog swap post by Anya, and Spleeness's TMI Thursday post, one of the funniest I've read.

Blogger of the Month: It can be no other person than Ben, who I'm totally man-crushing on now in the straightest way possible (a la Seinfeld on Keith Hernandez).

When I suggested the idea of creating a fake Cosmo, he didn't hesitate for second in agreeing, even though it was sure to bring utter embarrassment on us both (see the cover). So Ben, for my gratitude and in lieu of spooning, here's your award. Let's do it again sometime (fake Cosmo, not each other).

To discuss a Month in Review: July

July went by so quickly that I almost forgot to do a Month in Review. Before I forget all that happened, here's my rundown.

Favorite movie: "The Proposal" Ryan Reynolds is who I want to be when I grow up. He's like the more advanced version of me, the homo sapien to my homo erectus*. And his abs are pretty. On a non bromance note, there are a surprising number of laugh-out-loud moments (thanks, Betty White) and some nice old-school hip-hop. Yep.

Runner-up: "Stardust" Yeah, I'm surprised, too, but Robert DeNiro makes a great flamboyant gay pirate, and Claire Danes is just so Claire Danes-ee.

Least favorite movie: "The Breakup" I almost forgot Jennifer Aniston walks around naked in this movie. And even that was kind of a letdown, as she's eternally PG-13 naked on magazines, anyway. The big reason this movie is on here? The ending. Won't ruin it, but there's a feeling the director forgot to include the last scene.

Favorite song: "Old White Lincoln" Gaslight Anthem. Think "Friday I'm In Love." Same style. I heart this band in a total Tiger Beat fan club way. Runner-up: "Since We've Been Wrong," Mars Volta, "Winter Song," Sara Barailles (it was on So You Think You Can Dance)

Least favorite song: "No Surprise" Daughtry. The 2000's Creed.

Favorite album: "'59 Sound," Gaslight Anthem. Check out High Lonesome and the title track in particular.

Best TV Show: "So You Think You Can Dance" Everything that's wrong with American Idol is right with SYTYCD. Better judges. More memorable performances. Much better host.

Worst TV show: "Michael Jackson SpectacleMemorial." That was just creepy, like a morbid Grammys. I couldn't stop watching it, and yet, on the other hand, who gave a crap about Michael Jackson in the past 10 years? That's not to undermine his impact, but after listening to all those eulogies, you'd think he saved the world from sin by moonwalking up Calvary. He sang catchy pop music and contribued to the "Free Willy" sountrack. Legend? Sure. Relevant? If it wasn't for his child molestation stuff, would anyone have talked about him this decade?

Best moment: Going to Virginia for a wedding and a trip to Mt. Vernon. There is now photographic proof of the alleged "Tearing Up My Heart" performance, led by the groom and groomsman and the only guy not wearing a suit, me.
Runner-up: My first Fourth of July with Capricorn. Fourth of July is the most romantic of holidays- Christmas has too much happy holidays pressure, New Year's is only about one second, Valentine's Day is a bit forced, and Easter is about my favorite guy dying. Fourth of July, well, that's about America Rock Flag and Eagle. If you're not an "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" fan, please disregard that statement. If you are, then enjoy this:


Worst moments: Getting caught in D.C. traffic, which reminded me of getting caught in Connecticut traffic, which reminded me of being doused in hydrocholoric acid and transportation failure.

Worst decision: Not having a more lucrative career, so I can go on splurges when I visit the biggest mall in all the land.

Favorite Blog Post by Me: Wasn't even on my site. Plus, I think I offered some good social media advice.

Favorite Blog Entry by Someone Else: Although much more adult-contenty that some might like, I enjoyed Zan's TMI about something that was loss, and then found. It's not the prodigal son, I'll just say that. Hysterical.

Blogger of the Month: In a long overdue award, let me give some praise to Min-D, who, among other things, delved into the hidden meaning of a certain Britney Spears song. I confess it took me a bit to also realize Britney isn't some Cold Case detective searching for a runaway named Amy. Consider this award a belated birthday present, Min-D.

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* heh.

Coming soon: Review of Maxim and Cosmo.

To discuss a Month in Review: June, and I'm back

I'm back, and bigger* and better** than ever! (* Actually, not bigger. Curse you, Extenze!) (** Actually, not better. Curse you, lack of ability!)

Well, I'm still back. It's been a month since I was last blogging. I most definitely needed June off, as I spent precious few minutes at home in between work and the musical, "Sound of Music." There really was no time for blogging, and, as you may recall, Capricorn told me I was "half-assing it," so I decided it was better to take a break (Not like a Ross and Rachel break... a real break) and then come back full force.

So what have you missed? Here's the Month in Review, which hopefully will get you up to speed so we can get right back into things with all the ferocity of Jon & Kate plus Hate.

Favorite movie: "Star Trek" My mom used to make all of us watch Star Trek: The Next Generation, so I'm a Trekky by association. Capricorn had never watched any of it. But we were both more than pleased with this latest installment, which was, in a hyphenated exaggeration, kick-me-in-the-crotch-fantastic. Runner-up: "Bottleshock" Kind of like Sideways, in that it focuses in wine, except subtract Sandra Oh getting jackhammered and add Alan Rickman being pithy and droll. Oh, and Chris Pine (Star Trek's Kirk) is in this, too.

Least favorite movie: "Summer Catch." MTV showed this for some reason, and, like a car wreck or cleavage at an inappropriate moment, I couldn't keep my eyes off it. Jessica Biel and Freddie Prinze Jr are the bizarro Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. And Biel wasn't even hot in this movie-- not even 7th Heaven hot! Technically, I watched this July 1, but I need to write this now to warn others. Runner up: "Max Payne." I love Mark Wahlberg-- "Hey goat. So you live in a barn? I like that about you. I was in The Italian Job. Say hey to your motha for me."-- but this is just bloody awful.

Favorite song: "Panic Switch" Silversun Pickups, "Best I Ever Had," Drake.

Least favorite song: "Fire Burning" Sean Kingston. Sean Kingston's formula: (Formulaic, limited range chorus) + the phrase "Shorty" + a Jamaican accent x incessant radio spins=Top 40 hit - (Andy's will to live).

Favorite album: "It's Blitz" Yeah Yeah Yeahs. "Zero" and "Heads Will Roll" are stellar.

Best TV Show: "True Blood," HBO. At least, I think it's the best TV show. I was catching up on season 1, and then HBO decided not to offer those episodes anymore and switch to season 2. So, I'm stuck at the fourth episode. So far, it's been lots of vampire sex and strange happenings. Runner-up: "Sixteen and Pregnant," MTV. I can't get enough of these teens getting knocked up! Capricorn and I personally enjoyed the the guy who bought his pregnant girlfriend an engagement ring at Wal-mart for $25, after he had spent $300 on a Playstation. It's the thought that counts. And the ring. But mostly, the thought.

Worst TV show: "Silent Library" MTV. Might be their dumbest show to date, which is saying something. The show is about people playing "Jackass"-style silent games in the library and trying not to make noise. Their next show idea? Sustained silent reading.

Best idea: Signing up for Tweetdeck, which has made tweeting much, much easier. So, please follow me @wildarschase. I'd rather not talk to myself anymore than I already do.

Best moments: Getting back on stage, and, more specifically, hearing that applause every night and acting with some great people. Plus, I had a legitimate reason to sing every day. Runner-up: Capricorn's birthday!

Worst moments: Everyone famous died (except Hugh Hefner, who refuses to die). In particular, Billy Mays died. My "As Seen on TV Week" now seems much more like a tribute.

Worst decision: Having to abandon the blog for a month, although it was necessary.

Favorite Photos: Here's a few Sound of Music photos. I'd love to put up video, but I was reminded that's a big copyright no-no to show footage of a licensed show. If it helps, Capricorn, who had never seen me in a musical, said she was impressed enough that she thinks I should keep doing shows, even if that means not being home a ton. That means a lot. Or it means she wants me out of the house... If I figure out a way to get some singing footage on here, I'll do it.

Favorite Blog Entry by Someone Else: I took a break from blog reading too, for the most part, but I do want to give a retro-active nod to one of my longterm blogfriends, Amy XXOO, and the great, albeit surprising, news she received in June. When I first read about it weeks later, I did a Tom & Jerry worthy jaw drop... Please, please let me know if there was any life-changing news in any of your blog posts so I can catch up (or any changes to your web site address). Otherwise, I'll just assume you snorted cocaine/murdered kittens/cut down the rain forest or whatever you usually do.

Blogger of the Month (here's March's winner): No winner for June, since I didn't fully check out blogs, but I have fallen in love with textsfromlastnight.com and fmylife.com. Please enjoy. They are KSFW (kinda safe for work)

Thanks for coming back... you will be rewarded in heaven, or in the post-death afterlife of your choosing.