To discuss a new feature that will take you way back

In an attempt to overextend myself like the Saved by the Bell crew trying to mass produce Screech's Spaghetti Sauce, here's a new monthly feature, Music I Loved Friday, or MILF.
It's a look back at old-school songs of yesterdecade, remembering where I was and what I thought when the song came out. I probably hate the song now, but at the time, it was all the rage.
And what better way to start than with...

Baby One More Time! Here's the video, for those interested. I didn't embed it so you wouldn't have it unexpectedly blaring from your work computer.

Flashback:
It's January, 1999, the winter of my sophomore year of high school (commence groans by those older than me, and "dude, you're old" by those younger, like female Andy). I'm kicking back after school, watching music videos on this channel that used to play music videos, called MTV, now known as Reality World Television.* And what pops up on TRL, hosted by the affable Carson Daly?

Britney Spears? Who's this broad? Why is she so bubbly? And... wh...wha... whaaaahhh? She's grinding in high school hallways in a school girl outfit? I'm entranced! And I think she's singing about sexual relations... although 16 is a little young to be telling your boyfriend to hit you in bed.
As I stared past my ominous braces and through my thick glasses at the flickering screen, I was quite sure a superstar was before my eyes, although it would be hard for her to be better than that Destiny's Child group. I can't stop singing "No, No, No," although something bothers me about that lead singer. She looks like a real.... where was I?

Oh yeah, Britney Spears. Well, I'll give you a chance. This song is catchier than herpes at homecoming. And that pink sports bra is doing something for me, although I don't know exactly what- fortunately, I have sex ed class tomorrow, so I should find out soon.

I think good things will happen to this girl. She seems to love dancing too. Maybe she'll meet a nice boy dancer one day and have one... no, two! kids who can grow up with divorced and inebriated loving parents.

Billboard's Top Five Songs Around That Time:
1. Cher- Believe
2. TLC- No Scrubs
3. Monica- Angel of Mine
4. Whitney Houston- Heartbreak Hotel
5. Britney Spears- Baby One More Time

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What did you think when this song came out?

Thanks to those who checked out my new work blog (also on entertainment topics). Here's today's post, on Super Bowl stuff I wish would happen. Let me shamelessly ask you to add it to your reader. Your Google reader likes the gluttonous punishment. I promise to limit the mentions of the blog from now on.

To discuss a Photo Recap of fortunes, me liking girls and Madonna's butterface

I didn't plan on this. But the events of the past two days forced my hand. It's a Photo Recap.

Capricorn and I had Chinese for dinner on Sunday, after I made her pancakes for lunch. Nevermind that the restaurant is called Yummy Yummy, which sounds like what I imagine a four-year-old calls his Play-Doh menu. What really got our attention came after the meal, when we cracked open our fortunes in case the Chinese knew something the Bible didn't already cover. Mine is on top and makes no sense unless I'm poaching for furs. Hers is on bottom.



If I'm reading this correctly (and my elementary school report card proves I am literate), then her lucky SAT answers are ALL OF THEM. Is she supposed to just keep repeating that sequence again and again? Or is she just supposed to pick one of the letters and hope the College Board screwed up this year and forgot to change the order of the answers?
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I got the ad below in the mail yesterday. I know that I've long had many gay-like tendencies- from reading Details to worrying about color coordination... basically everything except for having gay butt sex- but has it come to the point that the magazine companies are trying to get me out of the closet?
Is this subscription offer from "Out" basically saying, "Alright, dude. The gig's up. Our market research team has proven that you're a homosexual. Tell Capricorn it's over, and let's just get you into some slim-fit dress shirts and take you to a Broadway show and call it a day, OK? And while you're at it, read our magazine. Neil Patrick Harris talks about how he likes to stick his Doogie in other guy's Howsers."


Finally, a question. WHAT HAPPENED TO MADONNA'S FACE?!?! You know I'm concerned when I bust out the caps lock. I literally paused my Tivo and sat with my mouth agape (agape!) when I saw her on Britney's MTV documentary (of course I watched it. Don't hate). It looks like she lost a war with a puma, and for penance, agreed to assimilate into the feline species. She's one surgery away from turning into Donatella Versace. I wish the photo did it justice.


Put it this way. Britney Spears, who just a few years ago kissed Madonna on stage like two college co-eds being dared by drunk frat boys, now looks terrified to be around her mentor. Look at this screen shot. I'm no expert on body language-- if I was, I wouldn't have forced conversations in high school with girls scooting away from me. But Britney is visibly leaning back throughout their couch conversation. There's a visible V, and I'm not talking camel toe. Thoughts?