To discuss a month in review: February is lovely this time of year

February might be the shortest month of the year, but I don't judge things by their length. That's for women to do. February is a great time for me: Tax refunds, my birthday, awards shows and, for once, a happy Valentine's Day. Here's my February, link-loaded, month-in-review:

• Favorite movie: "Pineapple Express" For a stoner movie, it was consistently funny. I like that Seth Rogen had no remorse in writing a script in which his adult character is dating a high school girl. I do wonder how many movies he can pump out before he becomes the next Will Ferrell, turning "Oh sweet, Ferrell's new flick!" into "Sweet fancy Moses, what contrived storyline is he going with this time?" Runner up: "Hamlet 2" and "He's Just Not That Into You"
  
• Least favorite movie: "Escape from Alaska" Not to be confused with Sarah Palin's vice presidency bid... This is a family favorite for its awfulness: It features the crazy guy from Full Metal Jacket, plus the special effects are atrocious. As in, you can clearly tell they are using a model train set when an avalanche destroys the town. Runner-up: "Slumdog Millionaire." It's not an underdog if it wins everything.
• Favorite song: "Blue Ridge Mountains," Fleet Foxes. Discovered them on "SNL" not that long ago, and have been liking their Beach Boys meets Simon & Garfunkel meets Cold Mountain hillbilly soundtrack....Sidenote: They look like Jude Law near the end of Cold Mountain, too. Don't you agree? Runner-up: "The '59 Sound," The Gaslight Anthem.
  
• Least favorite song: Any Chris Brown song. Chris Weezy's songs just remind me of domestic abuse now, in the same way that Katy Perry makes me think of vocal abuse.
  
• Favorite album: "Tha Carter III," Lil Wayne. For the record, I liked this long before he was getting Grammy nods. I like blasting "A Milli" from my Honda Accord. It has a certain jene se qua as passers by see a skinny white guy with a cardigan and a faux hawk pumping it from his stock speakers.
  
• Best TV Show: "Dog Whisperer." Drop what you're doing (unless you're in the middle of pleasing your partner, and then, please, don't stop, because that's bad manners). Turn on the National Geographic channel. Watch Cesar Millan tame the untameable. I've spent the past weekend calling myself a Dog Whisperer and mimicking pack leader assertiveness as I roll Bailey onto his side and growl. It would be much more impressive if Bailey wasn't a chiweenie. Runner up: "American Idol" and "Millionaire Matchmaker." And it's almost time for "America's Next Top Model"!
  
• Worst TV show: "Making the Band" is making me upset. I'm boycotting doing Play by Plays on the show until Danity Kane regroups. Right now, Aubrey (who has since done Playboy), D Woods and Shannon have all been fired or quit. Dawn and Aundrea have spent this season wallowing in pity and wondering what to do next. Don't they know that Making the Band isn't have as fun without Aubrey's trainwreck antics? Let's get going, Diddy.
  
• Best moments: My birthday (celebrated by Southern Belle) and getting featured as the USA Today Pop Candy Reader of the Day.
  
• Worst moments: Waking up after this dream and wondering what narcotics I must be taking.
  
• Best decision: Everything I did for Valentine's Day worked out great. Now, of course, I have to top myself next year, which will likely create the need for a helicopter ride or swimming with dolphins or something.
• Worst decision: Deciding it's a great idea to move into a new place where I'll have to put down a $300 nonrefundable pet deposit for a 10-pound chiweenie. (Eh, it's got a washer/dryer and a dishwasher... I'll live).
• Biggest change: In the span of about a month, I went from writing one blog to writing three: Wild ARS Chase, Real Blogger of York County (my blog for work, all on reality TV shows) and, now, "The Office" recaps/news for TVFodder.com). So, add that to my day job as a news writer and I write, oh, say, all the time. In the short term, that's meant a little less blog commenting and a little more writing, but eventually it'll balance out. Thanks for understanding in the mean time, and for checking out my other stuff. I promise not to get all Tyra Banks-esque and try to take over the world.
  
• Favorite Blog Entry by Me: What I am now considering making a regular feature, my Love Coach texts. I also love doing awards show commentary for all of you.
  
• Favorite Blog Entry by Someone Else: It gives me great joy to give this to a regular reader, SJ at Funny Gals, for her post on "Animal Husbandry." It involves bunny orgies ("Not as floored, however, as when the male then mounted the female's head.") Please read. And, as far as guest posts go, they don't get much better than Finger Talks' birthday post for me.

To discuss a post-Valentine's advice column.

I'll say this with all due respect to the singles out there: I had a great Valentine's Day. Capricorn and I had a great time, and I hope you and yours, or you and a bottle of vodka, did too.
I'd like to help my three male readers have a great Valentine's Day next year, and there's nothing like solid advice and preparation. So, let me give you the Capricorn-approved list of good ideas I had for this day, and what likely won't work for you. I hope it helps. Or you could just buy diamonds.

Good:

• Drove down to the bank where Capricorn works. Entered the drive-thru and put her Valentine's Day card into the canister to send it over to her.

Bad:

• Driving down to the bank where your girlfriend works, entering the drive-thru and placing a note in the canister telling employees you have a bomb and they have 30 seconds to send you $100,000 in unmarked bills.

Good:

• Brought a dozen red roses, gave them to Capricorn after she was done with work.

Bad:

• Bringing a dozen red panties, giving 11 to your girl and wearing the 12th under your jeans.

Good:

• Drove to my house, had a dozen white tulips and two frames with several photos of us, all waiting on the table.

Bad:

• Having photos of ex-girlfriends framed on a table with one slot open, then telling your girl "Look, there's a spot just for you!"

Good:

• Read the poetry of e.e. cummings to Capricorn, then an Andy original I wrote just for her. The original was also handwritten, using my third-grade cursive skills, on the matte of a photo frame I gave to her.

Bad:

• Read Cosmo article to your girl on "10 Ways To Please Your Man," then suggest she could learn a thing or two. Handwrite her phone number on a bathroom stall.

Good:

• Cooked dinner and ate it by candlelight while listening to old standards like "Our Love Is Here to Stay."
  

Bad:

• Microwave dinner for your girl, but tell her you only have enough for one and she should go grab some McDonalds. Eat dinner by candlelight because you didn't pay your electric bill. Listen to old standards like "Thong Song" and "Big Pimpin'."

Good:

• Took Capricorn to see the chick flick, "He's Just Not That Into You." Remarked how I'm glad she and I don't have the same issues of the characters in the movie.

Bad:

• Go see "He's Just Not That Into You" and make subtle comments to your girl how you can relate to what the guys in the movie are saying.

Good:

• Capped off the evening with ice cream and chocolate-covered cream puffs for dessert and filling out a couples questionnaire-book.

Bad:

• Cap off the evening by telling your girl perhaps she should skip dessert. Fill out an online dating profile.

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Please comment with any good ideas/horror stories that can help out the guys out there. We all need help.