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Tuesday, October 7, 2008

To discuss 10 Things to Know About Me, minus Heath Ledger

I'm so glad you enjoyed my fantasy league idea. With a presidential debate on tonight, you could easily form a league and get started. And by that I mean that you'll turn it into some crazy drinking game. Pace yourself, then. It'll be a long night.
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Since I've been getting several new people reading Wild ARS lately that aren't related or paid by me, I figured it was time for an Andy Fact Sheet.
Also, check out these posts to get some of my fundamental philosophies that are both sure to cause my inevitable downfall and are reliably unreliable: Here. Here. And here.
Also, here are some of my other favorite posts: Q&A. What just happened to my dinner. And, a regular feature, my Television Play by Plays.

  1. I'm 25-years-old. That means that high school kids, who are now born in the early 90s, make me feel old with their lack of respect for the pillars of television, including Full House, Family Matters, Saved by the Bell, Pete and Pete and Salute Your Shorts, among others. It also means that I work with people who are all older than me and who likely view me as someone who isn't that far removed from homework and prom. I view them as old dudes. Fair enough.
  2. I'm a newspaper reporter, also known as "I chose a career with no hopes of high income, a high ratio of disparaging, unwarranted slander against my profession and a likelihood of becoming an alcoholic that rivals only attorneys, politicians and cast members of the Real World."
  3. I grew up in a town with no stoplights, a general store, a hardware store where you could buy penny candy, no chain restaurants and is technically classified as a village. In related news, every town I have lived in since feels like a metropolis just because there is a Wal-Mart and a McDonalds.
  4. I killed a drifter once just to get an erection. No, wait, that was Neil Diamond on Saturday Night Live. I only murdered a hobo.
  5. I have a girlfriend (today is the two week mark, which I believe is the Post-It note anniversary), who has been dubbed Capricorn because she didn't want to be called Ladyfriend. She is extremely nice and good looking.*
  6. I have a younger brother and an older sister. My brother is taller than me. My sister is smarter than me. God blessed me, however, with the ability to procrastinate and say awkward, inappropriate comments to strangers. Take that, genetics.
  7. I have many metrosexual tendencies that, when I'm first introduced to a person, causes them to pause in a "Is he or isn't he?" moment that is on the cusp of being uncomfortable until I tell them chicks are hot. Cause chicks are hot. And I don't like dudes. But I do like Banana Republic. And interior decorating shows. And The Notebook. And GQ magazine. And dudes. Wait, crap, not the last one. Uh..... uh.....Boobs.
  8. I've been in a bunch of musicals and plays that have led to buying tights and wearing make-up. See number 7. My favorite show I've been in is "Lend Me a Tenor," in which I was the bellhop and got to be in this sweet scene (holding camera).
  9. I lived with my ex-fiance for a year after we broke up, cause that's how I roll. That, and neither of us had any money, and we didn't want our dogs to split up. And we were hoping our situation would turn into a CBS sitcom this fall starring Jerry O'Connell and Jodie Sweetin. It never happened.
  10. I have a chihuahua/dachshund mix, Bailey, who is going to the vet today for a check-up and to see if he can get his E-collar removed, much to the chagrin of doorways everywhere who were getting accustomed to him slamming into their wooden sides with regularity. Bailey likes to randomly hump pillows, has pooped on me while I was driving, has tried to attack a German shepherd and is well endowed for a little dog.
So what don't I know about you? And how did you find this blog, anyway?

* Capricorn also reads this blog. See how smart I am?

20 comments:

bex said...

Wow, that is very smart. And you said your sister is smarter than you? What is she, a rocket scientist?

(She isn't, is she?)

Miss Tiff said...

Andy Fact Sheet. Brillant Idea. Darn you and your brillantness. Making my blog jealous again. LOL.. To my surprise I knew almost all ten of those things. Ha ha.

What's wrong with Bailey? He has to go to the vet again? Poor guy.. I feel bad for him. :(

A fair fairy said...

aww Boobs to you too Andy! love the fact sheet! 25 y.o huh? well just for the record people your age don't make me feel old until one starts hitting on me - then I start feeling like a cougar...

kk said...

A chihuahua/daschund mix, you say?

Well I have a dachshund/chihauhau mix (with a little beagle thrown in there, too).

Bailey and Vito should be blog friends!

sj said...

this is a good idea for a post. which is great because i was totally running out of things to say. so i'll just be sure to steal this for the future.

um. i mean. no. i won't copy you at all.

i got to your blog via the adorable haute pocket. and i've come back ever since because you amuse me daily.

SouthernBelle said...

I think I found you via the Funny Gals, who I found via Molly "I Need A Martini", who I found via someone else I can't remember now. It's all a rich tapestry!

It's so great how you can find awesome blogs via the author's comments on another blog!

P.S. You young whippersnapper, you are making me feel old today. I remember 25, it was a good year! But you don't make me feel as old as my 15 year old nephew, who is no doubt dating already with flagrant disregard for the fact that I remember him being born.

The Logarithmic Spiral said...

Where have I been, you ask? I have been here...unmotivated because I'm too tired to think about writing witty witicisms. It's this disease I have that makes me tired all the time...hmmm, maybe that's a potential blog post....I will attend to it post haste.

Always remember the 5th of November.

And how did I hear about your blog? Uh, duh, you...told....me...about it??? actually, I don't remember. Was it through Facebook? Who knows, but I've been here since day 1 :)

Sam_I_am said...

Lend Me a Tenor... what year was that? It feels forever ago.

You told me about your blog when I found a fake Andy Shaw.

Something you don't know about me? hmmmm..... I'm lefthanded and I can wiggle my ears. How's that?

Amy xxoo said...

Sadly, i must read your blog far too much, because all that stuff seemed kind of familiar to me already. And i found you after you found me - that is, you commented on my blog and i skipped on over here to yours.

So my question to you is: how did you find me ?

RainbowEclipse said...

2 things:

1)Waynesburg = not metropolis, there was no Walmart, only the McD's

2)"Take that genetics" should've been followed by a "*" leading to the Shoffesque note of "crotch-thrust" at the end.

I found you cuz I'm a stalker... or through either Chris or Brandon's blog.... not sure which...

hautepocket said...

Yea...I'm not sure I learned anything new, per se...but I do enjoy that photo. Also, your hometown sounds remarkably similar to mine. Are we long lost twins? You definitely got the 'funny' genes. :)

Ben said...

Betcha we'd be friends in real life. But not more than friends...'cause you've been honest about the whole boob thing.

Props for owning something that's part-dachshund. That means our dogs could be friends too if they weren't too busy licking each other's junk. They've moved a little passed metro, I'm afraid.

~Sheila~ said...

I liked the fact sheet. Excellent idea.
Let's see...

I don't live in a big town so, YEAH a Walmart and Mcdonalds DOES make it a metropolis.

I too am a middle child and covet the ability to procrastinate.

LOL..I used to wear caps all of the time..because I liked that it kept my hair out of my face and provided shade. That coupled with the fact that I am pretty strong led to one day my best friend telling me that I come off to people like a soft butch...hmmm.

Bailey is a funny dog from what I can tell.

So@24 said...

Can I buy the rights to that sitcom idea? I'll have my lawyers write up a contract

Sam_I_am said...

Thanks for the birthday wishes. I'll be at Homecoming and I think I'm going to go to the Upper Room reunion at 7, too. I usually sit in the section behind the band or the next one over. I'm leaving my orange and black face paint at home this year. ;-)

Lovesfool said...

Great post! I posted an "about me" on my blog today too!
I found you via http://angilio.blogspot.com/

Lovesfool said...

1) You WOULD lose against me!
3) I can't help it.

And don't worry I'm an avid reader. Gotcha in my rss reader.

- C - said...

There is SO much that you don't know about me...

Salute Your Shorts is the coolest!

Katie said...

the town I grew up in and where my parents live recently got it's first stop light. The town almost held a parade for it.

Oh it also has a liquor store now. The stop light brings everything! ha!

Lyla Lou said...

I don't know how I ended up here, but I like that I'm here now. I just hope I can remember how to get back.

I lived with my ex for almost a year after we broke up. Just moved out this week. I started my blog because of it.

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