Tuesday, January 6, 2009

To discuss the Wild ARS Awards: They've got pomp AND circumstance

I have a tough time letting things go. Nickelodeon's "SNICK." Last fall's fashion. Bosoms. And 2008. Not like it was the best year, but it was the year I started blogging, reinvigorating my interest in the Internet not seen since the early days of instant messaging. So it's only fair that I honor those that have made my first year so memorable- all of you. Here are the winners of the 2008 Wild ARS Awards. Collect your button, leave a speech and celebrate the best of 2008... No one's allowed to pull a Faith Hill or Kanye though, or I'll revoke your trophy.

Blog Categories:

Most prolific and supportive commenters on WildARS: AmyXXOO, MissTiff, and Sheila. Out of all the commenters, I most frequently look to make sure you three like what I wrote. Plus, you've been with me for a long time. We go way back. Like, a few months.
Blog that keeps me laughing: Hautepocket and Motherhood in NYC. I am still laughing at some of the things Haute said in our Q&A mailbag, and Marinka can make something innocent like a Reese Witherspoon TV show appearance into a good time had by all.
Best new blog: SamIAm is funny all the time, plus she's always up for a good meme. Coincidentally, we went to college together, but have talked FAR more since we started blogging.
Most consistently entertaining: LBluca. One of her posts, "My Boobs Work for Free Drinks," was the stuff wet dreams are made of. And she has great TMI Thursdays.
Sweetest, Cutest Girlfriend on a Blog: Capricorn (She wanted her own award, and how could I say no to this face? Oops, I meant this one.)
Best blogger at old-school references: Joshlos. When we wrote about our favorite sports movies, he whipped out references left and right, and even used the street-savvy spelling of 2pac. That's not to mention his old-school MySpace posts.
Most likely to make me jealous of their writing ability: No Ordinary Rollercoaster. He helped turn what would've been another excellent co-blog into one that took on a life of its own. It might be because of his Dream Date with me.
Blog sure to go big places in 2009: Diane's Addled Ramblings. Her comment totals keep growing and growing as she gets funnier and funnier. And Southern Belle- Those Aussie word definitions are bound to cause an Internet sensation.
Most fashionable blog: Love Maegan. Now she just has to let me do a Simply Gratuitous post with her.
Best photos on a blog: Erin's animal shots are one of the reasons I got interested in getting a DSLR.
Best blog at keeping it real (funny): Smell the Glove and Lump. They are more honest than a lie detector test, that is, if the lie detector dropped the f-bomb and used sexual references often. That would be one sweet lie detector test.
Best blog post titles: The Funny Gals always have a good one: How much is that doggy... in the cardboard box... out by the road... at 5 o'clock in the morning?
Best blog title: My Friends Are Sluts... I wonder what she calls her enemies.
Best writing style: Finger Talks. Now if only I could get her to write more often. She's like the J.D. Salinger of bloggers... On the guys' side, I admire how So@24 expertly breaks down his dating failures and need for a good woman.
Best compliment about me: Tie: "Andy will pop culture the piss out of you." Thanks, JenBun... I hope you're pissed at me all day.... And: "You're like the gay friend I wish I had, except your straight." Thanks, Heather. We should totally go clothes shopping together.
Best Get to Know Me Post: I rolled out my inaugural Get to Know Me Week last November, and so many of you participated. But Geiger Girl took the cake-- She talked about Playboy, pot, Mormons and her mom, all in one post!
Most original blog ideas: J-Money's House series using instant message lingo is genius and hilarious. Or, as she would say, shiz so funneee lol.
Best blog design: Elle Michelle. Clean, elegant, uncluttered... the opposite of mine.

And finally: My Favorite Blog Entries of '08 (Since I started blogging, at least)
(Drum roll and shots of the contenders in split screen):

Honorable Mention: SamIAm... The writing style she chose for this meme is just perfect, as is her description of junior high school life.
Second runner up:
"Lost My Hoboken Virginity" by Finger Talks... For various funny phrases, such as her breakdown of pre-gaming for a night on the town: "Stage three: random pictures of each other doing things that we're sure will be hilarious in the morning when we can remember where we are or where are pants went."
First Runner Up: My Friends Are Sluts, "Not For Weak Stomachs in the Audience."... One of those "Fluids are likely to burst through your nose it's that funny" kind of posts.

And my favorite blog entry: J-Money, "Warning: Use As Directed." I could have chosen several from her site, but this is one that sticks out in my mind. I can only hope to have something awful like this happen to me so I can write about it. Fingers crossed!
Don't fret if you didn't haul in an award this time- If I'm reading your blog, I must like you, because why else would I keep coming back? Plus, there will be more awards in future months, and I like to spread those around like herpes at afterprom.

Thanks to everyone who has read me so far these past five months...you stroke my ego more than a $5 hooker with a $100 bill...
If you haven't already, add me to your "Following" list, your Google reader, or befriend my Facebook fan page- it will help me feel less guilty about reading 50 blogs a day.

If you happened to have won an award, feel free to take the button to show off (just link it back to this post). It's not an MTV Movie Award popcorn trophy, and there's no swag... but it's better than a kick in the groin, right?


Alyssa said...

So when I drag myself into work this morning with under eye circles, not-up-to-par hygiene and two right shoes, I'm going to have to blame you and your shoutouts. I've never much of a follower until tonight.

Amy xxoo said...

Woohoo...i'm a winner! Seriously, i never win anything so this award rocks. Even more so because its not so much for my blog, but more for my support. I get an award for being nice. And you know what that means ?

" You like me.... you really like me!!! "

Ben said...

So just to be clear...the prize ISN'T a kick to the crotch, is it?

Sam_I_am said...

Whoo! 2 awards! Now, I don't feel guilty about devotedly blogging nearly everyday.

When I started college, someone told my mom at a parent meeting, "Put a bunch of freshman in a room together and no one would talk. Put the same freshmen together in a chat room and they'd all be best friends."

I think not having Facebook at WC really screwed things up.

Marinka said...

Thank you! So, Haute and I now duke it out? I could totally take Haute, unless there's a swimsuit competition. Or a humor one.

Btw, I'm happy to see that there are so many great and new-to-me blogs listed!

Heather said...

Wow, I tied for best compliment? That must not say a lot about the amount or quality of compliments you get! :) But hey, I'll take it!And I'm ready to go shopping whenever you are!

Diane said...

Awww... thanks, darlin'! I was sort of hoping for the girlfriend one, but the one you gave me is cool, too ;)

Thanks, really... I'm honored!! xo

Miss Fabulous said...

This is all fine and good and I congratulate the winners, but what I was looking for this morning was the really important stuff ie. Bromance play by play...

Candy's daily Dandy said...

A good kick in the groin could do wonders..Congrats to all the winners!

Andy said...

Alyssa- My bad. Try not to get fired.
Amy- And that's on top of the fact that I love your blog and it's one of the first ones I ever read.
Ben- Not unless you want one.
Sam- I remember them saying that, and it's very true.
Marinka- I'd like to see you two go head to head, but, fortunately for you, you can get your own button without the need for a mud wrestling competition.
Heather- I've got a list of the compliments. People have a strange way of saying they like me. If this was a romantic relationship, I'd totally have a complex by now.
Diane- Best Blog Crush, perhaps?
Fab- Oh, it's coming. I didn't have time to write it last night because of the awards (Did you SEE how many links are there?), but I'll get it done for Wednesday. It was brotastic.

Andy said...

Candy should get a special award for blogging the day after she was in an ambulance.

Lump said...

You know, if we lived in the same city, I might just kiss you... or give you a nice kick to the crotch.

Thanks for the award, Andy!

and hells yes for new blogs to read.

Racquel Valencia said...

This was le sweet. Thanks, dollface. I'm also excited that someone thinks I'm funny, which is a step up from "terrifying".

SouthernBelle said...

I would totally put that award on mym site, but I'm Australian.

I'm lazy, is what I'm saying.

But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate it, because I do! Thank you!!! It means a lot to get an award from a blogger I like so much, especially when not prefaced by "I'm giving this award to bloggers who haven't been given an award yet..."

: )

So@24 said...


You've outdone yourself this time my blogging friend.

There are TONS of blogging awards that get circulated everyday. Usually, you see the same one a million times.

You've gone above and beyond by making it personal. And that's the most flattering award one can get.


I'm getting misty here.

What I'm saying is... thanks, man.

sj said...

a) i'm immensely flattered. even though our blog post titles happen to be a little wacky only because we've been blogging since 2005 (holy crap. since our 20s) and otherwise they'd all be titled something like "sj f'd up her leg and is in the hospital again" or "KAT's hilarious dating antics part 325".

b) i love the idea of making up your own awards because otherwise, you end up trying to retag everyone and their brother with an award they already got. two weeks ago. like i just did to tishtash.

word ver: huski: the trendy department at sears for zoftig young men.

Muffy Willowbrook said...

Oh My! I am so flattered! And to think....I made that blog name up drinking a Rolling Rock and two shots of tequila. Who knew?!

Thanks for all the good words, Andy. My heart pumps big LOVE for you and your generosity!


Finger Talks said...

i love you. u have single handedly convinced me to stop being a loser and start blogging again. prepare for the return with some popcorn and a box of tissues.

Andy said...

Lump- Can I have both? (But keep the kiss on the cheek. Capricorn wouldn't like it otherwise, and she's an award-winning gf)
Racquel- Can you change your name to Racquel Welch for, like, a day?
Belle- You're very welcome. I think original awards mean even more, judging by the hours it put me to put this sucker together.
So- I'd give you a bro hug, but I don't want to get too Bromantical. Brody would get jealous.
SJ- Do I sense a trend? Although I must say, I'm surprised more of you don't do this.
Muffy- My organ pumps for you, too.
Finger- She's alive! Good God, Finger, you were like the Mickey Rourke of bloggers there for awhile. Glad my guilt trip worked. If you could even post weekly, that would be enough to satiate me.

Astharis said...

Congrats to everyone that won something. Truly deserving.

And this is the best blog awards I've seen so far.

Geiger Girl said...

Whoaaa! I won my very first ever award! This is waaaay better than getting second place in the elementary spelling bee. (Who misspells Kiwi? I do!)

You seriously rock my socks Andy, you've almost inspired me to like... post sometime this year! WOo!

JenBun said...

You love me, you really love me!

... Because I love you.

Hey, I'll take it! Thanks, A!!! :D

(P.S. Word verification: bilest. That's the MOST bile-y bile. Indeed.)

elle michelle said...

Great awards!

I will now take a bow for the blog design that I neither created nor designed. I picked it from a template, but this award proves that I'm an AWESOME picker (with an awesome graphic designer friend who does logos). Woo hoo!

You rock. :-)

Miss Tiff said...

Aww. Thanks Andy!! :) This award totally rocks. :) Totally made my day.. :)

Anonymous said...

I'd like to thank everyone who made this award possible: My parents, my manager, Wild ARS Chase for creating this award and presenting it to me. Also, I'd like to thank the person to whom the most credit is deserved: myself for being old and living in the past.

Anyway, thanks! This award excites me so much that I got up out of my chair and did the cabbage patch and running man right at my computer.

On another note: Dude, you're jacking my ideas. But it's okay. I started, but got too lazy too finish the It's A Bloggy Bloggies, anyway. To be certain, after reading this, I can say there's no way they'd have topped the Wild ARS Awards. Nicely done. Mine would be like The Source Awards to your Grammies.

Jenners said...

I'm so glad you gave Diane's Addled Ramblings an award! She was one of the first blogs I found and one of the best. She is the one who turned me on to your blog! Yay Diane!

LBluca77 said...

Most consistently entertaining!!!!

YAY that's me.

Thank you my friend.

Braja said...

Since I've never been here before, and I don't know anything about you or you me, and since you've never been to my blog...I guess I can forgive you for leaving me off your list. This time.

~Sheila~ said...

Well how cool is that! The fact that I am on of the one that have been with you for a long time. (yes the few months that you have been writing).
Just being mentioned is an award itself.

Keep writing!

Andy said...

Astharis- Thanks, and thanks for commenting all the time, too
Geiger- I got second place in a spelling bee, too. Soul mates?
JenBun- Those who flatter me get the farthest in life. It's a fact.
Elle- At least you have good taste.
Tiff- You've been with me since, what, the first week or so? That's longer than I've been with Capricorn!
Joshlos- You better still do those awards. I'd like to be a trendsetter. Plus, you can claim you came up with the idea first, Al Gore style.
Jenners- You're not too shabby yourself.
LBluca- You still owe me $9.84 in dry cleaning bills from all the spit takes I've done reading your blog.
Braja- Your kindness will be rewarded in heaven.
Sheila- Loyalty counts for something.

Anonymous said...

I'm a winner! And all these years I thought my Dad was making that up!

Thanks for the award, Andy. I absolutely love your blog. You have a rare gift with words and writing and although I've been an awful commentator as of late my day is not complete without a stop by your page to see what ridiculously hilarious thing you will cook up next.

We'll have to pool our Haute Arses together in 2009 for another kick a$$ great time. That's not nearly as dirty as it comes off, I promise. Wait. Is that what you want? I LOVE YOU like a blogger. Peace out home slice.

Erin said...

Whoa. I won something. Awesome. Thank you so much! Glad I could inspire you with my dog photos.

Word verification for this comment: cholinte.

Definition -- cholera of the belly button

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