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Showing posts with label fake holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fake holidays. Show all posts

Sunday, November 30, 2008

To discuss a Weekend Update with some Thanksgiving references thrown in

Thanksgiving/Weekend Update:
What, you're tired of reading everyone's Thanksgiving stories? What, you're not American and you could care less about our holiday celebrating people not dying after the winter? What, you could care less about my life's recent events?
Well...
...
... all legitimate points. But read this anyway, alright? I'll keep the turkey references to a minimal. No, I did not watch the Westminster Dog Show, break the turkey wish bone, or make poor, alcohol-influenced decisions likely leading to court dates or Googling "STD treatments" (all Thanksgiving traditions many others enjoy).

As with the Weekend Updates, this Thanksgiving/Weekend Update will be mostly context-free:

Things I saw:
  • "Role Models": The movie itself was funny and made me want to find a medieval festival and touch everyone's whispering eye with my sword (watch the movie). Even better, there was a Marvin Hamlisch reference, and you know how much I love Marvin.
  • The need to check IDs for an R-movie: Capricorn and I were the only patrons above the age of 20 in the theater. When we first walked in, there was a group of tweens gossiping, with one, lonely dude standing there, likely the hapless boyfriend of one of the girls. That's the life of a middle school boyfriend. You're there for show, for purse-holding and the hope of copping an unsolicited feel.
  • "That was funny!": As we watched the movie, the girl with an obnoxious laugh behind us was so kind as to point out to her friends when something was funny. Good thing, too, because I don't have a funny bone in my body and wouldn't have known anything was funny.
Things I tasted:
  • Two Thanksgiving meals within a three-hour period: First at Capricorn's, then with my family. It was a late lunch and an early dinner. I felt like Violet Beauregarde by the end.
  • Muddy Buddies: There might not be anything in the world I enjoy more than the powdered sugar-covered, chocolate and peanut butter smothered, Chex-based Muddy Buddies. Thanks, Capricorn's mom.
Things I read:
  • The latest Cosmo. Another "Things I Learned from Cosmo" post is coming up. This month includes "Your Orgasm Face." So now girls have to worry about how their face looks, on top of everything else? Can't everyone just be satisfied they are naked in the first place?
Things I did:
  • Strolled around a fabric store pretending I know what Stitch Witchery is: My mom, after hearing that my apartment complex is having a holiday door decorating contest, went balls to the proverbial wall and helped me design an elaborate fabric door hanging that she is sewing together. While she did that, my dad and I watched White Christmas, Home Alone and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. (The Loungewear sign was in the fabrics store. Why do little kids need bathrobes? Are pajamas with footies not impressing the young ladies after a romantic, rose-petaled soak in the tub?)
  • Went holiday shopping... on Saturday: I worked on Black Friday, so I bought a few things Saturday night when the crowds were down and I didn't have to worry about being trampled like the Running of the Bulls. Did you go Black Friday shopping? Do they have a similar shopping-frenzy day in other countries?
Things I noticed:
  • A mother buying cigarettes while holding her baby. Pet Peeve No. 1: Smoking around babies. Pet peeve No. 2: Pulp in orange juice. Yours?

Today's the last day to vote in my Top Young 90's TV couples poll. It's a tight race, so every vote counts...

Monday, November 24, 2008

To discuss a Weekend Update, visually speaking, and Feliz Navidad to all

This is going to be another busy week on Wild ARS, and I'm not just saying that to create a false sense of hope (I wait until Christmas for that).
If you read this post yesterday (in order for this week to make sense, un-"mark all as read" and read it. P.S. Thanks), then you should know this week is going to be a "Getting to Know Me" week. I've challenged you to each write a similar post and let me know about it so I can put together something with all the links...If you already said "yes," you're the best thing since slap bracelets.

Later today, I'll have a post that recalls one of my favorite high school stories. It involves hijinx, a car chase and mayhem. No, seriously. Tuesday, Southern Belle has something special for us, as she asks me some intimate questions, which I will blame on the liberal "gotcha" media. I hope she doesn't ask me about Russia or what newspapers I read. Later this week, there's some other good stuff cooking, and I'm not just talking turkey.

All I can say is there will be an "appearance" by a certain famous rapper, and an awards presentation...

On to the Weekend Update. This time, the Update is mostly visual, as Capricorn and I celebrated our faux-holiday, Feliz Navidad 2008, on Friday. Really, it was an excuse to drink margaritas at noon, trim my Christmas tree well before Thanksgiving and eat Mexican food. Jealous?

First, a few mostly context-free things I heard/saw/experienced this weekend:
  • New Kids on the Block on the American Music Awards: I appreciated their singing of "Right Stuff." But I still have a hard time listening to them sing about hooking up at a club. Is that before or after they tuck their babies in for the night?
  • Murder Mystery Dinner: Props to the people at my church for putting on an excellent program- my group solved the mystery, too. Murder mysteries should be done every weekend. I even know some people I'd like to have murdered.
  • An empty table: At a busy restaurant on Saturday, Capricorn, myself and two friends stood beside an empty table for 30 minutes. Wouldn't you know it, that's the table they sat us at. Am I missing something here?
  • The Office: I'm catching Capricorn up on this show; we're in the midst of Season 2. We just watched the episode when Michael grills his foot. I, too, like the smell of freshly cooked bacon in the morning.
On to the visuals...


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* Update on the Update: I would be remiss if I didn't tell you guys that, along with Feliz Navidad 2008, Capricorn and I also had our two-month anniversary this weekend. It seems like just yesterday I was at PetSmart with her.
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