To discuss a Month in Review: Mr. October

If anything, each passing month seems to be more interesting than the last, which I take to be a good thing. It's been three months since I started this blog. In the past month, I've reached my 100 post mark, been to the top of the Gateway Arch in St. Louis, and paid people to make me feel nauseated. I even debuted a video, with another on the way.
On to the good stuff:

• Favorite movie: "Home Alone" Technically, I did not see this movie in October, but Capricorn (the girlfriend) bought it and we intend to watch it soon. There are so many things to like about this movie: The soundtrack, the pranks, Macaulay Culkin before he got full of himself in "Home Alone 2," lax airport security before 9/11, pumping someone's guts full of lead...Runner-up: "No Country for Old Men."(I haven't actually watched it, but I have the Blockbuster by Mail package on top of my DVD player, so I feel I've viewed its awesomeness by osmosis.)
  
• Least favorite movie: "Quarantine." Duh. I do expect anyone who has since seen this movie to leave a comment with their thoughts. I appreciate all of you who listened to my words of warning. Runner-up: Some random movie on AMC made in the 1970s about a haunted painting.
  
• Favorite song: "Use Somebody" Kings of Leon. This band has quickly become one of my favorite bands of late. I put this song on Capricorn's mix CD, in part because I thought "Sex on Fire" might be a bit too strong of a message. Runner up: "Always Where I Need to Be," The Kooks.
  
• Least favorite song: "Miss Independent" Ne-yo. Did nobody let him know that Kelly Clarkson already dibbed this?...Runner-up "T-Shirt," Shontelle (Did nobody let her know that Jessica Simpson already dibbed this?).
  
• Favorite album: "Amnesiac" Radiohead. But Andy, hasn't this album been out for almost a decade? Why, yes, Voice in My Head, it has, but this is my post so deal with it... This was the album that got me hooked on Radiohead, which makes no sense because it's one of their least popular and well-known albums. When people think of Radiohead, they think of "Creep" from Pablo Honey, or "Karma Police" from OK Computer. A song from Amnesiac is like the redheaded stepchild that's awkward and misunderstood, but you realize has a lot of potential- Tampanga on early episodes of "Boy Meets World," if you will... I could listen to "I Might Be Wrong" or "Dollars & Cents" a thousand times, even though Thom Yorke's pronunciation skills are somewhere between Eliza Doolittle with a mouth full of marbles and Stephen Hawking. You know an album is weird when your girlfriend wakes up in the middle of a song and asks why people are banging broomsticks. Runner-up: "Causing a Catastrophe-Live," Flickerstick. (No least favorite album... but feel free to suggest one).
  
• Best TV Show: "Raising the Bar" This TNT show isn't the best TV show I watched, technically. But I can't stop watching it, in part because there are Saved by the Bell connections, in part because one of the attorneys, Bobbi, needs to be the mother of my child based on her predilection to being hot all the time, and in part because it's the first legal show I've seen that focuses on the public defender's office. Runner up: "30 Rock" and "America's Next Top Model."
  
• Worst TV show: NFL broadcasts. I love watching football, but I can't stand the announcers and the pre-game guys. They always have to say "National Football League" instead of using the acronym; they can't just say "field," it's the "football field"; and they have trouble forming sentences that aren't directly based off of what the previous guy said. If they were talking about the election, it'd go like this: First dude: "When you're talking about winning the election to become president of the United States of America, you need to make sure you're driving home the votes in the final hours with the citizens of the United States of America." Second dude: "You're absolutely right. Being the president of the United States of America is all about dedication, and no one shows dedication with Americans more than someone who is running for the presidency in the United States of America."
  
• Best moment: Fall Fest 2008 and my trip to St. Louis.
  
• Worst moment: It was a good month, I have to say. But I do wish that I wasn't so quickly forgotten at my alma mater.
  
• Best decision: Applying to go to the St. Louis seminar for reporters, which reminded me of why I like my career.
  
• Worst decision: Starting the Jaguars' Fred Taylor over the Panthers' DeAngelo Williams last week in my fantasy football game, as Taylor laid an egg and Williams scored a bunch of points. It cost me a victory- my first one this season. If you are a girl and could care less about those two guys, continue reading and pretend this paragraph never happened. If you are a dude or a girl who likes sports and is awesome, feel my pain.
• Favorite Blog Entry by Me: I had two fun co-blogs in October, one with Miss Tiff and one with Amy XXOO. Runner up: To Discuss Making Capricon Uber-legal to Date.
  
• Favorite Blog Entry by Someone Else: Sam I Am had one of the funniest posts I've read in a long time, recalling jr. high school life in abridged form. A sample: "Bell: Gym class...football!...Me: I'll be center *slam* (smashes into one girl) *boom* (knocks another one over) *whap (Bulldozers another)...Random girl: two people cover Sam...Me to teammate: We're undefeated."... Runner-up: "Scary Experience" by Sheila (it'll freak you out) and "Not For the Weak Stomachs in the Audience" by Muffy Willowbrook (hysterical and off-putting).
  
  Quick blog thought: If you regularly read this blog and you noticed that I've never checked your blog out, please let me know. I do try to visit everyone who visits me, in particular those who leave a comment. If you don't say anything, I'll assume you're just an Internet stalker, which is fine with me. If you've never left a comment on here before, now's a great time to start. It'll be therapeutic. You can even make fun of me, like we're back in middle school and I'm noticeably scrawnier with an affinity for pop rock like Duncan Sheik.

To discuss how to properly mix a CD

So I gave Capricorn her one-month anniversary gift, bearing in mind that A) It's been one month, not one year, so we're not talking some crazy big thing, and B) She specifically asked for this a couple weeks ago, so this isn't just me being cheesy.

Capricorn wanted a Mix CD.
So, that's exactly what she got.
Now, when making a proper mix CD, as a guy, there are several elements to bear in mind.

1. Do not put more than one song on there that makes strong sexual references. Even putting one on there sends the signal that, "When you are listening to this, I want you to imagine it's actually me saying I want to do naughty things to you illegal in the continental U.S." Which is fine if she is a prostitute or a character on "90210." Not if she's your girlfriend.
2. Do not base your selections solely on what you like, because then it will be apparant you have no idea what kind of music she digs. Conversely, do not base your selections solely on what she likes, or it'll give the impression you left your junk in the panties drawer.
3. Mix up the styles. Show a range of musical tastes. I don't mean salsa to baroque, just that if you only have Usher songs, the CD might get monotonous and it'll also have too many "Yeee-ah. OoookkKKK" moments with Lil' Jon. Lil Jon is the murderer of romance. And of enunciation.
4. Put some thought into it. She will know if you don't. It shouldn't take longer to burn the CD than it does to think of which songs are most appropriate. What you want is to capture the moment in the relationship. If you're throwing a bunch of Boyz II Men, 112 and Whitney Houston on there, first off, you might want to update your iPod, and second, unless you're deeply in love at this point (or want to eat Peaches and Cream off her, which goes back to No. 1), you are likely slapping together a playlist that doesn't align with the relationship. She'll analyze this stuff. She's wondering what your intentions are with each song. If you put "I Will Always Love You" on there and you've been dating 2 weeks, expect confusion. And 14 weeks on the charts.
   
5. Lyrics are key. Just because a song's got some romance to it, or was the song you both sang to one afternoon, or is just a fun one to sing, doesn't mean she'll want to hear it over and over when thinking about the two of you. There are exceptions, which you will see below. But a couple good songs with meaningful lyrics is much better than Top 40 crap that has canned lyrics about how God must have spent a little more time on her. Unless He did. And then go ahead.

So, now that I've set high expectations I'm certain to not meet, here's what I put on the CD, with short explanations... Capricorn did love it, for what that's worth, and she was given all the lyrics. Also: I'll try not to be sugary sweet, as I don't want to make those of you with a hatred of romance puke on the keyboard; I'm sympathetic to your disposition:

1. "Beautiful" Flickerstick- This band was on VH1's "Bands on the Run," like, 10 years ago, and for some reason I still love them. Sample lyrics: "When you're coming around, I'm off of the ground, I gotta say."
2. "Use Somebody" Kings of Leon- I listened to this a bunch during my St. Louis trip and Capricorn kept popping in my head. So, it's in. Sample lyric: "Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep/Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat/I hope it's gonna make you notice/Someone like me."
3. "I Wanna Love You Girl" Robin Thicke- Because it's not sung by Alan Thicke. Sample lyric: "Scientists say she's the second sunshine."
4. "Just Friends" Musiq Soulchild- No, I'm not putting this in to tell Capricorn she's in the friend zone. It's about meeting someone who you really dig and want to take out. Sample lyric: "You ain't even gotta be my girlfriend/I just want to know your name/And maybe sometime/We can hang out/hook up/just chill."
5. "My Love" Justin Timberlake- Switching to a little different style. JT has two things going for him. He has a good album, and he has his junk in a box.* Sample lyrics: "I can see us holding hands/Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand."
6. "Ordinary People" John Legend- I wish I had a cool fake last name like that. Maybe Andy Extraordinaire. Andy Gasmic. Andy Noworsethanmostguysyouknow... Sample lyrics: "Cuz we're ordinary people/maybe we should take it slow."
7. "Take a Look at My Girlfriend" Gym Class Heroes- Throwing something lighthearted in there, plus Capricorn likes the song. Sample lyric: "If I had to choose between her and the sun/I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun."
8. "Let Me Be the One" Blessed Union of Souls- Kickin' it old school. Sample Lyric: "I don't make no promises I can't keep/And I promise to be a real good man."
9. "I Got a Woman" Ray Charles- Now we're really going old school and expanding the musical palette. I think you have to put some unexpected choices on there. And, considering she lives about 40 minutes away, it works. Sample lyric: "I got a woman way over town/that's good to me."
10. "I've Got You Under My Skin" Frank Sinatra- A karaoke favorite of mine that I sang on our first date, so a little nostalgia going, too. The song is not about scarabs in The Mummy, by the way. Sample lyric: "Why should I try to resist when baby I know so well/I've got you under my skin."
11. "Stand By Me" Ben E. King- Because Capricorn really likes this song. And it's freaking Ben E. King. Sample lyric: "No I won't shed a tear/Just as long as you stand by me."
12. "They Can't Take That Away from Me" Ella Fitzgerald- The last of the oldies on this. Sample lyric: "The way you wear your hat/the way you sip your tea/the memory of all that/No they can't take that away from me."
13. "Big Poppa" Notorious B.I.G.- You didn't see that one coming, did you? Little do you know I rapped this song to Capricorn before to show off my street savvy, in case we get entangled with rival street gangs and we can't sing and dance our way out of it like on West Side Story. Sample lyric: "Whose he attractin' with that line/What's your name? What's your sign?/Soon as he buy that wine I just creep up from behind."
14. "Sparks" Coldplay- This is before Coldplay started sucking with U2 grandeur. Sample lyric: "I promise you this/I'll always look out for you."
15. "True Love Waits" Radiohead- This was the only true selfish choice on my side, because I always think a Radiohead song is available for any occasion, including bar mitzvas. The song's about wanting someone important in your life to stick around. Sample lyric: "I'm not living, I'm just killing time/Your tiny hands/Your crazy kitten smile." (Weird, yes. But there's a message behind it all. Ask Thom Yorke.)
16. "I'll Be Home for Christmas" Frank Sinatra- Because Capricorn loves Christmas. And in case she listens to it during the holidays. And because it's awesome. Sample lyric: "I'll be home for Christmas/if only in my dreams."
17. "Beau Soir" Debussy- I wrapped this CD up with a classical bow. It's one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard, by the same guy who did "Clair de lune." Sample lyrics (these are sometimes sung with this piece): "An exhortation to enjoy the charm of being alive/While one is young and the evening is beautiful."

* As to not ruin my stellar reputation on here by going all sappy for two days, I give you this image:

To discuss making a Mix CD guaranteed to offend small children

An overview of last night. For references, see yesterday's post:

Capricorn and I took Bailey for a follow-up visit to Grey's Anatomy: Vet Edition. If you recall, Bailey has been incessantly licking his paws, so he's been wearing a E-collar for three weeks to help him stop. His paws no longer look like war wounds, but they don't look great, either.
After several of the Grey's team- I think it was Izzie and Meredith- fawned over how cute Bailey is, we went back to some dungeon of a room next to a construction area.
They once again stuck a thermometer where the sun don't shine- on Bailey, not me- and the head vet, still wearing a sleeveless shirt like German's participant in the shot put event, came in to examine Bailey's paws.
She was pleased with the progress, but wants another three weeks of antibiotics and cone wearing just to be safe.
That led to this giant cone, which I believe was last used on a St. Bernard. While Bailey had trouble not smacking the cone off of things last time, his new cone has now given the strong possibility that he'll be stuck on his head with his butt wiggling in the air. I will Youtube it. It will be amazing.

After we left the Grey's team-- let's recall that I'm Dr. McDreamy in this analogy- Capricorn decided she wanted coffee. But not just any coffee. She wanted wild pumpkin latte from some coffee place in Maryland about half an hour away. Road trip.
Capricorn was jonesing for coffee in much the same fashion a heroin addict seeks a needle, only without the drug addiction or stigma. She almost giggled with excitement when she ordered. I will say, that was a cool coffee shop (Caribou Coffee). There were the requisite people on their laptops and wearing plastic framed glasses, so I knew we were going to be fine.

While it was fun going on a random escapade in the pursuit of coffee (I hate coffee, btw. I drink hot chocolate), what was truly the most amazing portion of the trip came on the tail end.
As I drove us back, Capricorn found an old CD a then-boyfriend of hers made when they were about 18.
Yes, dear friends. It's a classic Mix CD (which used to be a mix tape... which is now a mix MP3???). Now, there's nary a boy who hasn't made a Mix CD for his Ladyfriend. I've made several.
But this one is different. Remember, we're talking about a high school boy who is a virgin.
The following are some of my favorite selections and lyrics, as each track unfolded on the car speakers like a sexual symphony to my ears.

Ludacris, "Splash Waterfalls": "Know how to mack a (bleep), she's on your (bleep) and (bleep)
You call her (Sweet God in Heaven, Bleep Bleep Bleep). (Bleep Bleep) .... I'd include more lyrics, but the FCC would have a heart attack.
JKwon "Getting Tipsy": "Everybody in the club getting tipsy"........I'm fairly certain this song is meant to say, Hey, can you get drunk so I can take advantage of you?
Twista, "Slow Jamz,": "She got a light skinned friend look like Michael Jackson/ Got a dark skinned friend look like Michael Jackson." Good call, Ex-Boyfriend. This song is funny.
NSync, "Girlfriend": Uh,dude? Dude?!? You can't put on "Splash Waterfalls" and then have NSync. Not that this is a bad song. But now she might be confused that you also have given this CD to your boyfriend.
Dashboard Confessional, Some Random Song of Theirs: You know this CD is made by a teenager when you use Dashboard to express your romantic angst.

Fortunately, Ex-Boyfriend redeemed himself with:
Ludacris, "What's Your Fantasy": Awesome, man. With all of your previous sexual conquests in hand, you want to close the deal with a song that asks the girl to do you on a football field and in the back of the club, and at one point announces "Rough sex, make it hurt."

It's amazing you two still aren't together.

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A play by play of Making the Band is coming up soon. It was crazy. One of the Danity Kane band members is on her way out! In related news, Capricorn told me I'm too involved in the show. She's silly.