To discuss thoughts on fall TV premieres so far

Thoughts on some of the fall premieres so far....

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

• If you're not watching this show by now, you probably never will. And so the following will make no sense to you: Green Man. Day Man. Paddy's. Desert Rose. Rickety Cricket. And, as of the premiere last week, Bill Ponderosa.
• I could watch Kaitlin Olsen fake gag all day.
• I think at this point they just tell Charlie Day and Danny DeVito to just make up scenes and see what happens. And it's amazing. "Grab the 2 x 4. My back hurts too much..."

Watch again: Definitely

How I Met Your Mother

• Last season wasn't very good. Even the creators of the show said it. This season, however, got off to a good start. Robin was bummin' it, Barney called dibs, Marshall and Lily had banjo music ready for babymaking. Even Ted wasn't as much of a douche.
• I can't decide if Rachel Bilson is attractive.
• This season, supposedly, we should basically find out who the mother is. Thank the baby Jesus.

Watch again: Definitely

Mike & Molly

• Like Two and a Half Men and yes, even Big Bang Theory (all Chuck Lorre shows), this was hit or miss for me. Some of the jokes are just so obvious, you feel silly laughing. But some are genuinely original and well-executed.
• I'm always a Katy Mixon fan- fans of Eastbound & Down know her well. Can't wait for that show either, btw.
• Guessing CBS couldn't give the two overweight main characters overweight best friends. That would be too crazy.
• I hope the show develops into more than just a series of fat jokes with some romance in between, because I don't want to watch a fat guy break a table every week. Chris Farley did that the best, and no one has done it better since, so why keep doing it? P.S. He lives in a van down by the river.

Watch again: I'll give it a few more episodes

Hawaii Five-O

• I've liked Scott Caan ever since Gone in 60 Seconds, let alone Ocean's 11 and more recently, Entourage. So you know I enjoyed his performance.
• The other guy, whose name I won't bother looking up because, like his performance, it's not memorable, comes off too smug too like, too hardheaded to believe. He says one moment he and Danno should pursue bad guys to protect their own families, then he shoots guys left and right - guys who ostensibly have families of their own - with reckless abandon. It's a TV show, but you have to be a little consistent.
• I liked some of the writing style. The plot was ridiculous, because the governor would never appoint a one-man wrecking crew to pursue some terrorist, and that guy would never be able to track down that guy with untested partners so easily, even on (all together now) a TV show.
• The girl on their task force is wayyyyy too thin. Please feed her a pineapple or something. Her surfboard had more fat on it.

Watch again: Tivo, at least

The Event

• I liked Jason Ritter the most on the short-lived CBS show, "The Class," which was canceled despite having a cast that also consisted of Lizzy Caplan (Party Down), Jon Berthal (The Pacific) and Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Modern Family). I'm still bitter about that show being canceled.
• Blair Underwood continues to be one of those actors that keeps getting work but you can never quite figure out why. He's never impressive, but never terrible either.
• I'd like to think I have the patience to watch this type of show unfold. But I don't even have patience to fold laundry. We'll see if I can grow up.
• I hope "The Event" isn't something lame like "Tax Day" or "Black Friday shopping."

Watch again: Tivo, if only because I don't want this to turn into the next "Lost" and I miss the boat again

I'll give thoughts on more shows soon... and let me know if there are any new ones I should watch. If you say "#%& My Dad Says," I'll murder your first born.

To discuss a month in review: November- It's the PMS for December

I feel like November gets screwed over. November always gets the shaft, because unless you're having a birthday, getting elected for office or a turkey farmer, you'd much rather it be December, when the real fun begins.
I did enjoy watching all of you struggle with NaBloPoMo. You seemed consumed by the monumental task of posting every day. I can't shoulder that responsibility. It's hard enough for me to remember to put on pants in the morning.
Nevertheless, November is over, so here are the highlights and lowlights:

• Favorite movie: "Quantum of Solace" It had everything you could want from a Bond movie- action, thrills, international conflict, a reason to like British people, and PG-13 sex scenes...Runner-up: "Role Models" and "No Country for Old Men"
  
• Least favorite movie: "Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights." It's just not good. I didn't see many terrible movies this month (did you?) but maybe that's because I'm just blocking it out like it never happened, kind of like Britney Spears' marriage to that Jason guy.
  
• Favorite song: "Gamma Ray" Beck. This might at one point qualify for its own entry, because there are several groups/singers I like now that I didn't get at all when they first came out. "Odelay" was OK for me at first, but now it sounds genius, as does his new stuff. Runner up: "Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You," Black Kids and "Love Lockdown," Kanye West (despite me mocking him).
  
• Least favorite song: "If I Were a Boy" Beyonce. If you were a boy, you wouldn't be able to wear those mini-dresses that show off your birthing hips, now would you Beyonce? Stick to the moneymaker...Runner-up "So What," P!nk. She really needs to write a song that involves a key change and varying beats. O?ay, P!nk?
  
• Favorite album: Home Alone soundtrack. I can't stress enough that the holidays aren't complete without me listening to "O Holy Night" sung by little children, and that sweet-ass rendition of "White Christmas" with the falsetto.
  
• Best TV Show: "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." The season just wrapped up with Charlie writing his own musical, which inadvertantly includes a rape scene and child molestation. In other words, just another day on IASP. All that is right and wrong with the world can be found on this show (it's on FX). Runner up: "The Office" and "House."
  
• Worst TV show: "Heroes." What the hell happened to this show? I had to stop watching it. I don't like the characters anymore, the plots are full of holes and are hard to follow, people die and come back all the time and there doesn't seem to be a point to it all. All I want to do is punch Hayden Panettiere in the face. Hard. Twice.*
  
• Best moments: Creating Feliz Navidad 2008, my co-blog experience with Ben and Thanksgiving.
  
• Worst moments: Calling my blog crush the wrong name.
  
• Best decision: Having Capricorn meet my parents before Thanksgiving, so there would be less pressure for the holiday weekend. Things are going along great with her (we're past two months). That's good, because my mom still wants those overdue grandchildren. And they don't make themselves (unless you're the Virgin Mary or Clay Aiken). Runner Up: Deciding to do Get to Know Me week. And voting.
  
• Worst decision: Turning off the spam filter for the comments. Although the results were funny.
  
• Favorite Blog Entry by Me: Writing my Dream Date for Ben, and writing about Taxicab Confessions for Haute Pocket.
  
• Favorite Blog Entry by Someone Else: So many to choose from, as I made a lot of new blog friends this month. All of your Get to Know Me entries were great- I was seriously impressed. Some of my favorites include this one by AmyXXOO about becoming possessed, and Sara's impressive list of things to know about her. What were your favorite GTKM posts?
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  * Once with brass knuckles.

To discuss how I am 'Donna' apologize, and more Google search fun

Two points today:
1. I made a boo-boo yesterday that is one of my own pet peeves, which means I'm pet peeved with myself, if that's possible. I'm peeved all over myself...

I called someone by the wrong name.

No, it wasn't because I didn't know the person's name, or was being inconsiderate, or hadn't used it before. It was because I was doing too many things at once. But excuses are worthless.
So, Diane, I am sorry I called you Donna. As my penance, I offer you this free publicity for your wonderful blog, which deservedly won an award from Haute Pocket (where the offense took place). Mea culpa. I hope you can reinstitute your blog crush (which I know waned during this post). I'm sure there's a Backstreet Boys song that's appropriate for this moment- any ideas?- but, anyway, Diane, you're the best Diane I know. Diane. Diane.

It's not like I lack experience with wrong names. I get called Adam all the time. All. The. Time. "Hi, my name's Andy." "Nice to meet you, Adam." "It's Andy." "Cool, Adam." "Andy." "Adam?" "No, Andy." "I'm not wearing pants." "What?" "Don't worry about it, Adam." "@$&@"
A former co-worker of mine, who was a lovely person, thought my name was Anthony. I corrected her a few times, but eventually, I just let her roll with it, as I liked the idea of being Italian, plus she was a bit older and I didn't feel like nitpicking.
She died from cancer, sadly. And she still thought my name was Anthony.

It's even better when someone has no idea what your name is, but it's past the point of asking. Or, if one person knows the other's name, but that person doesn't know the first person's name. "Hey, Andy, what's going on man?"
"Heyyyy... dude. How are ya?... Uh, how's your driver's license photo look? Mine's always bad...(scans the guy's driver's license). Yeah, JOHN, that's a weird photo (hands back license)"
"Uh, I go by my middle name. You knew that."
"Of COURSE I did, uh, buddy. So, are you an organ donor (takes back license), um, um, um, what I'm guessing is either Michael or Mark?"

2. After writing my latest "Google searches that led people to my blog" post, I discovered I had a score of new Google searches that needed to be mentioned.* If any of these are yours, please claim them. I love them and want to know their inspiration.
Some of the latest:

• "Here's a confession: I'm in love with a man. What? I'm in love with a man... a man named God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha." That, Google searcher, is a monologue by Charlie on "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," when the Gang thinks they see the Virgin Mary on a water-stained wall. Excellent episode. Glad I could help.
• "Stage coach stops western PA" Are you planning a heist? Can I ride shotgun on the horse, or are you doing this solo? It took several guys to do it in "3:10 to Yuma," just to let you know. Unless, of course, you just want to drive a stage coach. That's completely legit and eco-friendly.
  
• "Rapestand S&M" So... this is a bit awkward... I'm glad it took you to this post about fantasy football and Michael Vick's dogs, and not some post I have about hardcore S&M. Because I'd like to think I'd remember writing a post like that, and the severe amount of coke I must have used before I wrote it.
• "I like mail in my mailbox." Who doesn't? It was even better in the old days of AOL when people would get psyched to hear the "You've Got Mail" sound. Now all I get is a bold-faced lie from Yahoo telling me I have "mail," which really means I have an offer to invest in an African prince's real estate, risk-free.**
• "Pictures of naked hot sexy girls showing there bubes." Well, first off, "their," not "there"- girls won't flash you if you use incorrect grammar. Second, I'm a little disturbed Google led you to a post about me describing my girlfriend's Halloween costume (which mention's Bube's Brewery). There will be no hot sexy fun time with her. None.
  

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* For those of you who wonder how I do this, check "Referrals" in your Sitemeter account. Take a moment. Enjoy. Then recoil in fear as you realize most of your visitors are twisted, twisted people.
** And for $140,000 down.