To discuss a list of recession-proof career ventures for you

I know you're all worried about your jobs, but don't fret. Here are...
Wild ARS Chase's Top 10 Recession-Proof Jobs:

1. Muppet puppeteer: There will never, ever* be a time when the world doesn't need the Muppets. What, are you just going to go on in life without Kermit and Miss Piggy? Hell, no! Jason Segal (thought it was Seth Rogen... they're interchangeable) is penning the latest Muppet movie-- why do I think this will include a scene involving Gonzo and a bong-- so there's still some Hensen juice left in there. In fact, why can't we remake popular movies with Muppets? "Muppets: Sex and the City" (Piggy is Samantha, naturally) "Muppets: Iron Man" (using Pigs in Space) "Muppets: Watchmen" (The sex scene could be dicey, but I think Janice from the band could pull it off nicely). Downside: You'll have your hand up a Muppet's fuzzy ass for 8 hours a day. Wakka Wakka!

2. Construction site stop sign twirler: There will always be construction, and so these guys and girls will always have employment. At about $18 an hour. Which, evidently, isn't enough money to buy a razor or a comb. Downside: Working on a 95 degree day on blacktop. And that vest isn't going to compliment your figure.
3. Real World alum: You can spend years-- YEARS-- doing follow-up shows like The Gauntlet, or posing in Playboy, or doing inspirational talks at college campuses. I'm not sure what you need to qualify, except a penchant for getting drunk, sleeping around, and somehow having low self-esteem and being cocky all at once. It helps if you're pretty. Or gay. Or black. Unless you're Steven from Real World: Seattle, cause no one wants that dude around after that Slap Heard Round the World. Downside: You will alienate your significant other by cheating on them within a week of being on the show.

4. Phone message announcer: You know that woman who says, "Please hold," or "The number you are trying to reach is not in service" or"What are you wearing, sexy" or "Please leave a message for..." She's not losing her job anytime soon. But if you murder her, you can take that job! Did I say murder? I meant ask for her job. That's what I meant. Downside: People will grow to hate the sound of your voice.

5. Prisoner: You know who doesn't need a job? A felon! You get food, clothes and shelter every day, don't need a car, people come to see you, and you will likely be in the best shape of your life while you do revenge-minded workouts in the prison yard with thoughts of knifing that dude who snitched. Downside: You will get anal raped.

6. Politician: You can't get laid off. You can only get voted out, and once you're in, you're usually in for a long time. All you have to do is compromise your values and pass a few laws that go against everything you stood for on the campaign trail. You'll get a nice paycheck, people will respect your position and you can actually help pass budgets that result in other people getting laid off instead of you. Genius. Downside: The intern you had sex with will go public.

7. Roadie for the Rolling Stones: I can't imagine they'll stop touring until they'retheir. Good catch, Soda dead, and since Keith Richards technically died years ago, you're set! When the time does come, go be a roadie for T-Pain. He'll be able to AutoTune his voice way into his golden years. Downside: Changing Mick Jaggar's diaper and hearing T-Pain sing about booty when he's 80.

8. Fast food worker: I watched "Super Size Me." I read most of Fast Food Nation. And I still eat at Burger King, McDonalds, Wendy's and the rest of the grease-mongers. Why? Cause that shiz tastes delicious! How often do you see a major fast food restaurant go out of business? You can flip burgers for decades and be confident you'll not get laid off. Downside: You'll get minimum wage forever, and the thought of a deep fryer will send you into night terrors.

9. Porn web site host: Sure, you'll have to wrestle with a guilty conscious every day, but it's not like porn is going to disappear. Porn stars will become less relevant because of home videos, but there will always be a job for one of the most lucrative businesses in America. Downside: You're a porn web site host.

10. Jesus: Do you realize how many people have made a career out of claiming to be the second coming of Christ? People will shower them with money and gifts, with little to no credibility to their claims. With Easter coming up, this could be a sweet time to cash in. Downside: You're a soulless moron breaking a Commandment, and Jesus is going to jacked with He comes back and sees you posing. Jesus hates posers. And kittens.**

* EVER
** Jesus doesn't hate kittens. Who could?

To discuss things I hate about moving, plus Where's Bailey?

Minus a few boxes, my move is done.
That should mean I can get back to blogging regularly, and boy, do I have some good stuff for you.

But first, let's play a game called, "Where's Bailey?"Can you find the chiweenie in this photo taken during Moving Weekend 2009?

Yes, Bailey, in a secretive, Anne Frank-esque move minus the murderous Nazis and plus the fur, has taken occupancy of a studio apartment-- the bottom shelf of my bookcase. He has yet to pay rent, however.

In fact, he owes me $300. That's how much it cost for the pet deposit. In the first of what will likely be a series of blog posts about moving, here's my 5 Things I Hate About Moving:

1. Pet policies: 75 percent of renters don't allow pets, and the other 25 percent allow pets, but only after cash-raping you with a deposit and a series of forms to prove your dog doesn't have rabies/won't attack children/won't hump your leg. What's wrong with a little dog-humping? Beggars can't be choosers.
   
2. Address change: You have to notify every single company you deal with of your new address, let alone the Postal Service. It's at this point that you realize how antiquated mail delivery is, and yet how much of a thrill you get when you have actual mail. I notified all the companies, making it much easier for them to send me bills and other sources of tears. I also got new subscriptions to Maxim and to Cosmo. Capricorn: "You got the subscription to Cosmo in your name?" Me: "Yes. It's for business purposes. It's not weird. Um, right?"
3. Packing: It is always at this point that you think, "My God! How did I accumulate all this stuff? I've got an entire moving box full of pens and notebook paper! Where did all these knick-knacks come from? How long has that drifter lived beneath my sink?" Every time I move, I capriciously throw away or donate as much as possible. And yet, I never seem to have fewer things. More than once during a move, I have sworn I'd become a monk and throw away everything except the most essential items. That never works, though, as "essential" on my list includes Tivo, a laptop, a couch, a Shamwow*, etc.
4. Learning the New Area: At least this time, I was only moving across town. But normally, this involves starting from scratch and finding the local grocery store/gas station/dope smuggler, and that can be time-consuming. It's a lot of trial-and-error to find the good ones. You have to figure out which Chinese restaurants have good sweet-and-sour chicken, and which ones have an unusual relationship with the animal shelter.
   
5. Hanging up things: I hate hanging up things on the wall, but I love having things on the wall. So I'll bang in a couple nails, and discover the frame is crooked. Then I re-bang the nails, and after thirty minutes of banging, all I have is a crooked frame and syphilis. Plus, you have to get the little frame hang-y thingies to latch on to the nails. I'd have better luck getting Lindsay Lohan an Oscar for "I Know Who Killed Me." Until God grants my request for X-Ray vision, hanging things on little hooks will always be a headache.**

* I didn't forget about my promise to review Shamwow. In fact, I've got something special cooked up, Made for TV style, as soon as I get the chance to write it.
** God won't grant it because He knows I'd only use it to see through girls' clothing. You got me, Jesus, you got me.

---------
Bailey's in the bottom right, if you haven't him by now. And, if that's true that you haven't found him by now, please cut up your driver's license. Thanks.

To discuss a month in review: December Means Little (Choir) Boys Are On My Mind

December is finally over. I'm almost as sick of all the holiday stuff as you are, so let's get right to it: A review of December, when baby Jesus was born, or at least allegedly born, if you're not big on historical accuracy and all that sort of thing.

• Favorite movie: "American Beauty" What? Andy, you just saw this? Why, yes, yes I did. Capricorn couldn't believe it, either. I had no idea what this was about other than Mena Suvari being naked in rose petals. Turns out, this is a very funny movie. Plus, I finally understand the whole floating plastic bag and kid dressed in black thing from Not Another Teen Movie.
• Least favorite movie: "Iron Man" Sure, Robert Downey Jr. is good here, but people were making this out to be the next addition to the Bible or something. It's not as good as other superhero movies-- I didn't care about the villain, and there were plot holes. That, and the end was anticlimactic... Runner Up: "We Own the Night"- Eva Mendes being topless in the first two minutes shouldn't be the highlight of the film. But it did give me another excuse to bust out this Mark Wahlberg photo. Say hey to your mother for me, alright?
  
• Favorite song: "O Holy Night" Home Alone soundtrack, sung by a children's choir. I wish I could quit you, Home Alone soundtrack, but John Williams has me wrapped around his finger. Runner up: "Christmas Time Is Here," Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack.
  
• Least favorite song: I think we all know.
  
• Favorite album: I can't get enough Kings of Leon "Only by the Night." It was enough to make me listen to another rock band consistently not named Radiohead, and that's saying something, considering I hope to have Thom Yorke's love child one day. I wonder if Thom's into skinny Americans... or dudes?
  
• Best TV Show: "Big Love" This HBO show practically made me want to enter into polygamy. Hey, if it was good enough for Abraham, Moses and Bill Paxton, then it's good enough for... wait, what's that? I'd have to remember multiple anniversaries, deal with multiple PMS weeks and buy more gifts? Eh, screw it. Runner up: "Testees" and "Big Bang Theory"
  
• Worst TV show: "Bromance" But, because you asked for it, I'll keep up the play-by-plays. I'm that kind of guy.
  
• Best moments: Spending my first Christmas with Capricorn, getting third place in my fantasy football league, seeing all my family in one place without a funeral involved.
  
• Worst moments: Every second I heard Bailey cry out in pain like a drunken yodeler. That, and the ensuing vet bill that made my rent payment more of an "if" rather than a "when."
  
• Best decision: Buying most Christmas presents right after Thanksgiving, so I didn't have to rush around all December.
  
• Worst decision: Putting off getting Capricorn's dad a Christmas present until Christmas Eve.
  
• Favorite Blog Entry by Me: Another good round of co-blogs, including one with Joshlos and two with Katie, plus my thoughts on Cosmo.
  
• Favorite Blog Entry by Someone Else: Anna Lefler's "Brace Yourself Kid" post on strange children's toys. And anything on Fail Blog.
  
• A few tops of 2008: Top New Artist I Discovered: Adele... Top Album: Radiohead, "In Rainbows"... Top TV Show- "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" and "The Office"... Top New TV Show I Discovered- "Big Love," and "The Cosby Show" (Yeah, I never watched it before)... Top Movie- "No Country for Old Men"(saw it in '08) and "Dark Knight"... Top Song- "Creator" Santogold and "Sex on Fire" Kings of Leon

Like that list? Well, how about this: I'm handing out the first ever Wild ARS awards on Tuesday, so you better get yourself ready. The categories are plentiful, and while not everyone will go home a winner, I've linked the crap out of it, so at least you'll find some other blogs better to read than this one.

To discuss another Lump in My Ars: 2009 Predictions

I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year's celebration... wait, what? You didn't? It was boring/depressing/anticlimactic? That's because New Year's is overrated. You don't see us holding a massive celebration when January becomes February, or when Thursday becomes Friday. Most New Years celebrations I've been to have ended with me kissing no one, feeling awkward and wondering if Dick Clark is going to make it much longer.

But that's all in the past. It's 2009. And it's time for the second half of the Lump in the ARS co-blog with the hilarious Katie. If you missed it, here's the first half with our resolutions. Now, it's our 2009 Predictions Sure to Come True, Unless They Don't.
(Katie will have her predictions on She's Lump)....

Andy's Predictions:

1. After Obama takes office, white Americans will grow gravely concerned about whether it's cool to call Barack "black" or if "African American" is the right term, fearful of offending minorities. Political pundits will go out of their way to avoid referencing Obama's race and come up with new P.C. terms: "Listen, Barack is doing a great job representing his people. Wait, by his people, I mean Americans, not uh, well, you know, the people that are, um, came across the ocean, um, you know, non-white... Uh, the night-colored community." The black community will laugh at us crazy crackers.

K: It is possible the black community already thinks white people are crazy crackers. Case in point: we had one crazy cracker named Bush in office for eight years. That should say enough. By the way, 19 days left of that crazy cracker.
ARS: So, you voted for McCain?
K: OK, now you are one Crazy Cracker.

2. The networks will cancel a show you like and justify it by low ratings, despite a fervent following. You'll point out that "According to Jim," Gary Unmarried" and "Ghost Whisperer" are still on the air despite all logic against them. Oh, and "E.R." will miraculously come back for another season after NBC's failed medical reality drama, "The Real Proctologists of Orange County," sucks ass. Literally.

K: I have to disagree about "The Real Proctologists of Orange County." I think that show would do very well. It would be like "Dr. 90210" except the Proctologist is googly-eyed over a piece of ass instead of boobs. Because I hate it when men are googly-eyed over my boobs.
ARS: At least men aren't Googling your boobs. That would be a whole 'nother issue.

3. Gas will go above $3 again because of (insert unreasonable, dumb reason here: Slowed production in the Gulf/Terrorists in the Middle East/OPEC restrictions/Wall Street brokers peeing themselves in fear). We will all complain about it.

K: Hell yes I will complain.
ARS: At least $4 gas helped moms realize they don't need to drive Hummers to pick up the kids.

4. A Hollywood megastar will die in some tragic accident, making the world weep and gnash its teeth. There will be tributes and celebrations of the actor's work in movies, as even their worst stuff becomes "great examples of acting" because the dude is dead now. Awards will be given posthumously, and books will be written. Exceptions: Keanu Reeves and Tara Reid.

K: If you're talking about Freddie Prinze Jr., then I'm coming to Pennsylvania (um, that's where you're from right?) and kicking your ass for that one.
ARS: No, I'm from Jersey *quickly hides PA driver's license and points to the right*

5. Jim and Pam will finally have their wedding on The Office, but Michael will screw it up when he tries to take over for the preacher. Jim will do that quirky mouth thing. Stanley will roll his eyes. Meredith will sleep with the preacher. Andy will serenade everyone with "Kiss the Girl" from The Little Mermaid. Dwight will tell Phyliss to lay off the cake. Sarah Palin will guest star as the preacher. "Do I now pronounce you man and wife? You betcha."

K: I'm probably going to get shot for this, but I don't watch The Office. However, I do find Steve Carell strangely attractive.
ARS: That's alright, because I don't watch Lost, 24, Mad Men, or most other buzzworthy shows. I prefer stuff that is likely to be canceled.
K: I've never even seen those shows either. See, I watch too much reality TV, man.

To discuss a Lump in My ARS co-blog: Our 2009 Resolutions We Promise to Break Any Day Now

I'll let you catch your breath while you recover from the colorful graphic. It's practically USA Today up in this mother.

On the eve of the New Year, I couldn't pass up the chance to list the resolutions I have absolutely no chance of completing successfully. But, rather than simply list my failures like I've done in the past, I joined forces Jedi-style with Katie of She's Lump to make this a more in-depth post. And by in-depth, I mean lots of perverted jokes and references to pop culture. We only make one or two references to child molesters, so I consider it a success.

Today is Part 1- My resolutions are here, and hers is posted on her site... It's more colorful language than usual- I promised Lump I'd curse. She promised not to emasculate me too much.
Tomorrow is Part 2- "2009 Predictions Sure to Come True, Unless They Don't."
Let's get this party started...

Andy's Resolutions:

1. I will keep my apartment neat and tidy so that Capricorn and I aren't forced to frequently stop mid-sentence, look around and say, "We really need to clean today." This should last for a good two to three months, until we become lazy and rationalize that at least it's better than a frat house and there's still a clear path to the bathroom.
K: I think you may need a "Just in Case you need an Excuse to Party" poster and a super soaker (see her resolutions). Dude, I will bring the beer.

2. I will keep up with exercising a few times a week to make my body look good while I'm still young enough to keep my body looking good without the need for crash dieting and Chuck Norris exercise equipment. If I fail at this, I'll limit my moping to no more than three pints of Ben and Jerry's. A night. For a week. I'll also stop trying to run faster and longer on the treadmill than the guy next to me, especially if he is from an African country that ends with a vowel.
K: Instead of running a marathon on the treadmill to keep your body looking good, you could always take Kung Fu like me. I mean, check out my last Kung Fu photo and blog post. One commenter said I look like a SEVEN YEAR OLD. Oh wait, having a seven year old body isn't really considered "looking good" is it? Unless you're Michael Jackson.
ARS: Or a Chinese gymnast.

3. I will not lose my motivation for my career in the fall like I do every year, leading to months of searching online for jobs that require no experience, little time and pay six figures so that I can pursue my interest in professional karaoke singing. Instead, I'll be satisfied with the well-established, successful career I already have, since I have yet to hear back from that Kenyan prince and his offer to have me manage his finances if I just make the first deposit of $5,000 in an offshore account.
K: You probably haven't heard back from this Kenyan Prince because you haven't deposited $5,000 yet. You ever think about that? Do you want to borrow some money? Well, tough shit.
ARS: Not even, say, 10 bucks? I'm so broke right now, I have to take doggie bags home from McDonalds. I'm one traumatic event away from blowing people in a back alley for a Twinkie and some quarters. It's the price you pay... for balloon animals.

4. I will try food I've never tasted, visit a city I've never heard of, watch a reality show I've never seen, and talk to a person I've never met. When that leads to me vomiting, getting lost, losing IQ points and getting abducted and featured on Dateline, I'll blog about it and pretend I intended for all that to happen for the greater good of comedy.
K: You know, that would be hilarious. Give me a shout out on Dateline, will ya?
ARS: Weren't you already on there? I thought I saw you in some dude's kitchen during that To Catch a Predator series.

5. I will not go to Banana Republic. I will not go to Banana Republic. I will not go to Banana Republic. (If I keep repeating it, I think it may come true... wait a second... if that's the case...) I will convince Natalie Portman and Capricorn to make out. I will convince Natalie Portman and Capricorn to make out....
K: OK, not going to Banana Republic is a piece of cake, Andy. I want to see you not spend any money on Banana Republic garb. And every night I will say a little prayer for you in hopes that will help Natalie Portman and Capricorn to get it on. Hey, what are friends for?
ARS: $10 loans. Now where's my money?
-----------------------------
Don't forget to come back tomorrow (after you take an Advil for that hangover) to read our "2009 Predictions Sure to Come True, Unless They Don't"

To discuss a camera, a healthy dog and a reference to the Holocaust

I'll be giving you the big Weekend/Holiday Update soon, but in the meantime, what kind of sweet presents did you get? I'm showing you some of the results of one of mine, a new Nikon DSLR camera (I'm overcompensating with digital imagery the way some guys overcompensate with large Ford trucks with plastic testicles hanging off the trailer hitch). Included is a shot of Capricorn's cat, whose eyes remind me of Uma Thurman for some reason, and a shot of Capricorn and her chihuahua, Leo, who is giving her more tongue than an overzealous prom date.
I got some other sweet gifts and photos I'll share soon.


Bailey is finally doing (somewhat) better. I had to take him to the vet again on Saturday, and they gave him three more kinds of medications, getting him on par with Amy Winehouse, minus the beehive hair and Motown sound. He's got some kind of back issue, but at least now he's walking around some after spending most of last week hiding under my bed like a canine Anne Frank, minus the Nazi persecution. For his two vet visits last week, he cost me about $50 per pound. He weighs 10 pounds. In related news, I'm wondering if goldfish would be a more economical option, if not somewhat less easy to cuddle with at night.

So, tell me all about your present giving and getting, while I recover from the past few days.
And, for the love of sports, please check out the Top 10 (Plus 2) list Joshlos and I put together for Christmas Eve, as I know many of you are behind on blogging.

To discuss cutting down on TV like I'm the lumberjack and the TV is the wood

I am just now starting to get back into the swing of things after a crazy couple of weekends away. So, I apologize if I haven't been leaving comments on your blogs/not returning your calls/forgetting your birthday/leaving my fly down... things should be better now.

One by-product (opposed to bi-product, who likes girls and boys) of this recently is that I have barely watched any television. Tonight was the first time I watched any primetime TV at all, and even that was Tivo'd stuff. The truth is, I didn't really miss not watching TV. In fact, I think I'd be better off if I cut down some of my TV watching anyway... perhaps to a cycle of 10 shows that are always worth watching (based on what's on right now).
For any other shows, I won't make serious attempts to catch them, and instead use that time to return calls, zip up my fly, read books, or write letters to Capricorn about how her eyes are like the stars or something totally dreamy like that.
Hmmm.
I think this could be doable.

In no particular order:
1) The Office... Even when it's uneven, it's still better than most.
2) It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia... They had an episode about kidnapping a newspaper reporter last week. Needless to say, it was amazing. I've never seen one show tackle so many taboo subjects with reckless abandon- racism, religion, alcoholism, cannibalism- you name it. And Danny DeVito is amazing on it...trust me... especially when he runs an illegal gambling ring in which people bet eyeballs and fingers.
3) How I Met Your Mother...One of the few shows that focuses directly on 20somethings and actually sounds like 20somethings.
4) House... Well, I have to have at least one good drama, even if they violate every ethical code a doctor can have in every episode.
5) America's Next Top Model... I have to have at least one trashy show, right? Tyra is way out of control this year. Seriously. Another Play by Play of the show may be in the works.
6) Big Bang Theory... Not enough people watch this show, even though it's always funny and intellectual. Plus, Penny is hot.
7) Saturday Night Live... Because it's funny again..."Hi goat. Say hey to your motha for me."
8) Heroes... I need at least one of those trendy shows. I don't watch "Lost" and never caught on to "Mad Men," and missed the boat on "I Love Lucy."
9) Grey's Anatomy... Not because it's truly good TV, but because I've seen too many episodes and need to know what's going on... And because I hope they kill off Meredith. All the time. Like, kill her. So she can stop whining about difficult her life is when she's a doctor and is dating McDreamy. And so I don't have to keep imagining her face as God's template for making squirrels and chipmunks.
10) This one is up to you. What would you add to the list?

To discuss The Hills and what TV used to mean to us

Ok, so this is what I've learned from yesterday's post comments: Do not make fun of The Hills. Sure, it's based on a made up feud, shows spoiled girls working at fake jobs and highlights girls with fake boobs (I'm talking to you, Heidi Montag), but there are dedicated viewers out there who don't like me taking their show to task. Understood. We'll agree to disagree.
But think of this. There is now an entire generation of teenagers who, in 10 years, will speak of The Hills, Hannah Montana, Punk'd, and Family Guy like we do about the shows we grew up on. Isn't that scary? What's that you say, Andy? Give a list of the 10 shows people in their 20s identify as "their shows"? I'm nothing if not a man who fulfills wishes (and crushes dreams).
Now, this is not a Top 10 list of the best shows of our generation. That's another day. This is the shows that I look at now and say, I grew up on that (keeping in mind that I'm 25). I think that's why I worry about The Hills- it looks like the crap that these top 10 shows spit on in comparison. Of course, so is Making the Band.

1. Full House: This isn't even debatable. I'm fairly certain I've seen every episode. In hindsight, isn't it strange that Danny Tanner let an adult single male, Joey, live with his teenage daughters? How did DJ and Joey not hook up at least once? I think that should have happened at least once, with Joey doing his Popeye voice right in the middle of them screwing while DJ worries that Joey think she looks too fat and has to become anorexic again. Then Stephanie can barge in and say "How Rude!" because Joey won't give in to her offer of a ménage à trois with Kimmy Gibler. I think that sounds like a winner. They can even play the sappy music when Danny sits Joey and DJ down and talks to them about being responsible adults as he hands them birth control. Am I right?
2. Seinfeld: Not everyone gets this show, I know that. But for our generation, I think there was a lot to identify with, mostly because it was so random and didn't take itself seriously (Not that there's anything wrong with that). Most high school guys I knew at the time would quote Seinfeld all the time- What's the deal with Ovaltine?
   
3. Family Matters: What is most interesting about Family Matters is that it didn't start out with Steven Urkel. He came in later and stole the show...I'm still trying to figure out what happened to the youngest kids on that show. Depending on the season, they just disappeared. And then there was that plot point of Urkel turning into Stephon.
   
4. Simpsons: I'm not a huge fan of this show. Actually, I wasn't allowed to watch it when I was younger (that, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). But it'd be foolish not to include it here.
5. Fresh Prince of Bel Air: Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down... You know what? I bet you know the entire theme song. And that makes me like you even more. Let's make out.
6. Saved by the Bell: I think this show truly defines our TV viewing. All the girls loved Zack or Slater. All the boys wanted Kelly to have that modeling gig she earned in France turn into a porn career. And none of us saw it coming that Screech, out of everyone, would end up doing a sex tape one day.
7. Boy Meets World: Ok, I'm sure I'll post about this another day, but Topanga quite possibly could have taken the crown away from Kelly Kapowski as the hottest character on TV. I mean, her freakin name is Topanga. And that Corey- always getting into trouble with Mr. Feeney. He'll just never learn, will he?
   
8. Step by Step: What's funny is that I had no idea Patrick Duffy and Suzanne Somers had careers before Step by Step. For all I knew, that was their first role.
   
9. Salute Your Shorts: How about Donkey Lips is my friend on MySpace? He's a rapper now. That show might have been Nickelodeon's finest work. Camp Anawanna, I do hold you in my heart.
   
10. SNICK: Saturday night line-up on Nickelodeon really sums it up- Alex Mack, Clarissa Explains It All, Roundhouse, All That, Are You Afraid of the Dark, etc. There wasn't a better place to be. That line-up was for us, by us.

Now, you're looking at this list and saying, Andy, dude, what is wrong with you. You forgot____. Well, then, let me know. Comment away. Some of the shows that didn't make the list: Doug, Wonder Years, TRL, Friends, I Love Lucy and Perry Mason...