To discuss Christmas songs, Fa la la la la, la la la already?

I was quick to write Thanksgiving a letter last week to apologize for Christmas stealing the proverbial holiday thunder.

At the same time, I should confess I've been singing Christmas music for a week now. Before you throw flaming crosses and ninja stars at me, let me explain.

No, it's not because the motherf&*@$# GAP decided it's the holiday shopping season.* It's because I'm singing in a trio now, and we're got a holiday program coming up. Unlike the Bayside Choir, we can't simply just ask Tori Spelling to guest star and hide a malfunctioning boom box beneath the risers. We've got to practice.

For my solos so far, I'll be doing "I'll Be Home for Christmas," "The Christmas Song," and possibly "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" or "Christmas Time Is Here." I've also got a bunch of duets to practice, from "White Christmas" to "Silent Night."

And I'm also doing the David Bowie part in the Bing Crosby duet, "Peace on Earth"; my partner doesn't agree with me she should smoke a pipe and say things like "Yes, that's swell," or "Get back here boy before I beat you with my belt." I guess she's not as committed as I am... I was planning to dress like Ziggy Stardust.

Not considered, because it's the devil's music: "Christmas Shoes."

So I've been listening to Christmas music in my car as preparation. And that brings me to the new poll. What Christmas song played a month or more in advance would make you feel like murdering someone?

For instance, if someone played "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer" in a grocery store right now, I'd amputate my arm and beat a baby senseless with it. But if I heard "Carol of the Bells" from the Home Alone soundtrack, I'd be in the holiday spirit and may even donate to the Salvation Army.**

So take a minute and vote in the poll on the right side. And a Merry November to you and yours.

* Capricorn loves this non-holiday GAP commercial with Juliette Lewis. I prefer the "Fall Into the Gap" years.


** Dear Salvation Army: When you put an ATM swipe machine on top of your kettle, you will get a donation from me. Until then, stop making me feel guilty for your lack of technology, just because I don't carry cash. I haven't carried cash in five years. I am considering putting a competing, ATM-ready kettle beside yours, with a sign saying "Donations Go to Support Child Molesters In Need." And I'd still blow you out of the water.

To discuss a month in review: December Means Little (Choir) Boys Are On My Mind

December is finally over. I'm almost as sick of all the holiday stuff as you are, so let's get right to it: A review of December, when baby Jesus was born, or at least allegedly born, if you're not big on historical accuracy and all that sort of thing.

• Favorite movie: "American Beauty" What? Andy, you just saw this? Why, yes, yes I did. Capricorn couldn't believe it, either. I had no idea what this was about other than Mena Suvari being naked in rose petals. Turns out, this is a very funny movie. Plus, I finally understand the whole floating plastic bag and kid dressed in black thing from Not Another Teen Movie.
• Least favorite movie: "Iron Man" Sure, Robert Downey Jr. is good here, but people were making this out to be the next addition to the Bible or something. It's not as good as other superhero movies-- I didn't care about the villain, and there were plot holes. That, and the end was anticlimactic... Runner Up: "We Own the Night"- Eva Mendes being topless in the first two minutes shouldn't be the highlight of the film. But it did give me another excuse to bust out this Mark Wahlberg photo. Say hey to your mother for me, alright?
  
• Favorite song: "O Holy Night" Home Alone soundtrack, sung by a children's choir. I wish I could quit you, Home Alone soundtrack, but John Williams has me wrapped around his finger. Runner up: "Christmas Time Is Here," Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack.
  
• Least favorite song: I think we all know.
  
• Favorite album: I can't get enough Kings of Leon "Only by the Night." It was enough to make me listen to another rock band consistently not named Radiohead, and that's saying something, considering I hope to have Thom Yorke's love child one day. I wonder if Thom's into skinny Americans... or dudes?
  
• Best TV Show: "Big Love" This HBO show practically made me want to enter into polygamy. Hey, if it was good enough for Abraham, Moses and Bill Paxton, then it's good enough for... wait, what's that? I'd have to remember multiple anniversaries, deal with multiple PMS weeks and buy more gifts? Eh, screw it. Runner up: "Testees" and "Big Bang Theory"
  
• Worst TV show: "Bromance" But, because you asked for it, I'll keep up the play-by-plays. I'm that kind of guy.
  
• Best moments: Spending my first Christmas with Capricorn, getting third place in my fantasy football league, seeing all my family in one place without a funeral involved.
  
• Worst moments: Every second I heard Bailey cry out in pain like a drunken yodeler. That, and the ensuing vet bill that made my rent payment more of an "if" rather than a "when."
  
• Best decision: Buying most Christmas presents right after Thanksgiving, so I didn't have to rush around all December.
  
• Worst decision: Putting off getting Capricorn's dad a Christmas present until Christmas Eve.
  
• Favorite Blog Entry by Me: Another good round of co-blogs, including one with Joshlos and two with Katie, plus my thoughts on Cosmo.
  
• Favorite Blog Entry by Someone Else: Anna Lefler's "Brace Yourself Kid" post on strange children's toys. And anything on Fail Blog.
  
• A few tops of 2008: Top New Artist I Discovered: Adele... Top Album: Radiohead, "In Rainbows"... Top TV Show- "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" and "The Office"... Top New TV Show I Discovered- "Big Love," and "The Cosby Show" (Yeah, I never watched it before)... Top Movie- "No Country for Old Men"(saw it in '08) and "Dark Knight"... Top Song- "Creator" Santogold and "Sex on Fire" Kings of Leon

Like that list? Well, how about this: I'm handing out the first ever Wild ARS awards on Tuesday, so you better get yourself ready. The categories are plentiful, and while not everyone will go home a winner, I've linked the crap out of it, so at least you'll find some other blogs better to read than this one.

To discuss a Month in Review: Mr. October

If anything, each passing month seems to be more interesting than the last, which I take to be a good thing. It's been three months since I started this blog. In the past month, I've reached my 100 post mark, been to the top of the Gateway Arch in St. Louis, and paid people to make me feel nauseated. I even debuted a video, with another on the way.
On to the good stuff:

• Favorite movie: "Home Alone" Technically, I did not see this movie in October, but Capricorn (the girlfriend) bought it and we intend to watch it soon. There are so many things to like about this movie: The soundtrack, the pranks, Macaulay Culkin before he got full of himself in "Home Alone 2," lax airport security before 9/11, pumping someone's guts full of lead...Runner-up: "No Country for Old Men."(I haven't actually watched it, but I have the Blockbuster by Mail package on top of my DVD player, so I feel I've viewed its awesomeness by osmosis.)
  
• Least favorite movie: "Quarantine." Duh. I do expect anyone who has since seen this movie to leave a comment with their thoughts. I appreciate all of you who listened to my words of warning. Runner-up: Some random movie on AMC made in the 1970s about a haunted painting.
  
• Favorite song: "Use Somebody" Kings of Leon. This band has quickly become one of my favorite bands of late. I put this song on Capricorn's mix CD, in part because I thought "Sex on Fire" might be a bit too strong of a message. Runner up: "Always Where I Need to Be," The Kooks.
  
• Least favorite song: "Miss Independent" Ne-yo. Did nobody let him know that Kelly Clarkson already dibbed this?...Runner-up "T-Shirt," Shontelle (Did nobody let her know that Jessica Simpson already dibbed this?).
  
• Favorite album: "Amnesiac" Radiohead. But Andy, hasn't this album been out for almost a decade? Why, yes, Voice in My Head, it has, but this is my post so deal with it... This was the album that got me hooked on Radiohead, which makes no sense because it's one of their least popular and well-known albums. When people think of Radiohead, they think of "Creep" from Pablo Honey, or "Karma Police" from OK Computer. A song from Amnesiac is like the redheaded stepchild that's awkward and misunderstood, but you realize has a lot of potential- Tampanga on early episodes of "Boy Meets World," if you will... I could listen to "I Might Be Wrong" or "Dollars & Cents" a thousand times, even though Thom Yorke's pronunciation skills are somewhere between Eliza Doolittle with a mouth full of marbles and Stephen Hawking. You know an album is weird when your girlfriend wakes up in the middle of a song and asks why people are banging broomsticks. Runner-up: "Causing a Catastrophe-Live," Flickerstick. (No least favorite album... but feel free to suggest one).
  
• Best TV Show: "Raising the Bar" This TNT show isn't the best TV show I watched, technically. But I can't stop watching it, in part because there are Saved by the Bell connections, in part because one of the attorneys, Bobbi, needs to be the mother of my child based on her predilection to being hot all the time, and in part because it's the first legal show I've seen that focuses on the public defender's office. Runner up: "30 Rock" and "America's Next Top Model."
  
• Worst TV show: NFL broadcasts. I love watching football, but I can't stand the announcers and the pre-game guys. They always have to say "National Football League" instead of using the acronym; they can't just say "field," it's the "football field"; and they have trouble forming sentences that aren't directly based off of what the previous guy said. If they were talking about the election, it'd go like this: First dude: "When you're talking about winning the election to become president of the United States of America, you need to make sure you're driving home the votes in the final hours with the citizens of the United States of America." Second dude: "You're absolutely right. Being the president of the United States of America is all about dedication, and no one shows dedication with Americans more than someone who is running for the presidency in the United States of America."
  
• Best moment: Fall Fest 2008 and my trip to St. Louis.
  
• Worst moment: It was a good month, I have to say. But I do wish that I wasn't so quickly forgotten at my alma mater.
  
• Best decision: Applying to go to the St. Louis seminar for reporters, which reminded me of why I like my career.
  
• Worst decision: Starting the Jaguars' Fred Taylor over the Panthers' DeAngelo Williams last week in my fantasy football game, as Taylor laid an egg and Williams scored a bunch of points. It cost me a victory- my first one this season. If you are a girl and could care less about those two guys, continue reading and pretend this paragraph never happened. If you are a dude or a girl who likes sports and is awesome, feel my pain.
• Favorite Blog Entry by Me: I had two fun co-blogs in October, one with Miss Tiff and one with Amy XXOO. Runner up: To Discuss Making Capricon Uber-legal to Date.
  
• Favorite Blog Entry by Someone Else: Sam I Am had one of the funniest posts I've read in a long time, recalling jr. high school life in abridged form. A sample: "Bell: Gym class...football!...Me: I'll be center *slam* (smashes into one girl) *boom* (knocks another one over) *whap (Bulldozers another)...Random girl: two people cover Sam...Me to teammate: We're undefeated."... Runner-up: "Scary Experience" by Sheila (it'll freak you out) and "Not For the Weak Stomachs in the Audience" by Muffy Willowbrook (hysterical and off-putting).
  
  Quick blog thought: If you regularly read this blog and you noticed that I've never checked your blog out, please let me know. I do try to visit everyone who visits me, in particular those who leave a comment. If you don't say anything, I'll assume you're just an Internet stalker, which is fine with me. If you've never left a comment on here before, now's a great time to start. It'll be therapeutic. You can even make fun of me, like we're back in middle school and I'm noticeably scrawnier with an affinity for pop rock like Duncan Sheik.