For the second half of the narcissistic blogaversary celebration, in true sitcom fashion, I'm marking the occasion with high(low?)lights of past Wild ARS posts...
Most of this stuff just makes me shake my head and wonder what I was thinking:
- "You know you are a broke, broke man when 35 cents crushes your budget." Aug. 5
- I never did figure out what happened to my dinner- Aug. 7
- "Girls will notice if you touch their hands, even if it's lightly. God created them with sensors that detect things men can't detect, such as hearing a child's cry, the blooming of a flower, or the artistic quality of the Jonas Brothers." Aug. 11
- "So, let me get this straight- this dog survived some kind of Amish torture chamber where she may or may not have been touched in her private spot, and her smile reminds people of broken combs.... Sign me up!" Sept. 3
- "We settled on Madame Capricorn, which makes her sound like a fortune teller or a dominatrix, either of which sounds mysterious and wonderful." Sept. 22 (First mention of Capricorn)
- An entire blog post written on a typewriter: Sept. 30
- "Aubrey and D Woods, who wears a half-mullett, go on a "Sea Trek," which is kind of like scuba diving. Aubrey wears an ill-fitting bikini for the occasion, perhaps to attract male dolphins to her cleavage. Aubrey, watch out. Dolphins hit it and quit it." Oct. 9
- "When Lauren Conrad wants to feel sexy, she puts on"fancy panties." Something about that phrase sounds very unsexy, like they are rhinestone-covered granny panties." Nov. 12
- "I know I haven't had problems getting along with gay guys. They love me. A lot. Thank you, Connecticut- I got asked out by more gay guys than straight girls. (Ben: Do you want to grab a coffee sometime? Me: (awkward silence, then subtle nod))"Nov. 20 co-blog
- "Song lyric: 'Want her to look beautiful if Momma meets Jesus tonight.' ARS: Just a point of reference, man- Jesus spent most of His time taking everyone's shoes off and washing them, not putting them on. So, a nice foot bath would do the trick. Or a Bible." Dec. 15
- "If you get an erection and need to pee without a urinal nearby, you are forced to stand at a rakish angle normally reserved for Picasso paintings and spinal cord injuries." Jan. 4
- "Femi now declares he's "like a bald eagle," which means he's close to extinction or he shaved his vagina." Jan. 7
Don't even get me started on Making the Band's new season. It's the stuff TV Play by Plays are made for...
And thanks to everyone who has participated in my embarrassing photo event; keep 'em coming.