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Showing posts with label making the band. Show all posts
Showing posts with label making the band. Show all posts

Monday, April 27, 2009

To discuss a Weekend Update: The Hills Are Alive, Kate Winslet's Still Naked, and Big Poppa

Sorry I've been MIA since the Snuggie post. Actually, nix that. If I was MIA, I'd be singing "Swagga Like Us" on the Grammy stage, waiting for my water to break on Lil Wayne.
I was at a two-day reporters conference on Thursday and Friday, then decided to enjoy the first days of nice weather we've had in Pennsylvania this spring. (MILF, usually on the last Friday of the month, will be this Friday instead.)
Here's the Weekend Update:
  • You know you're in a downward spiraling industry when one reporter announces she's attending the conference because the original person was laid off the day before, and the first speaker, a veteran editor, accepted a buy-out in the winter. Other than that, newspapers are alive and well!
  • I watched the Making the Band Season Finale on Thursday night. Drama! You may have noticed I didn't do any TV Play by Plays on the Danity Kane/Day 25/Donnie "Not Quite Justin Timberlake" Klang show this season. That's because Diddy broke up Danity Kane, and I was holding a grudge like a 12-year-old girl. Well, in the season finale, Danity Kane reunites-- minus Andrea, who Diddy fired the episode before. If there's a bigger trainwreck than Aubrey, I'd like you to show me. Aubrey, who is the Yoko of Danity Kane, announced she is getting her own reality show, following her failure travails on Broadway. You know, because nothing makes more sense than to leave a multi-platinum, uber-successful, MTV-backed group for the popularity of Playboy and a stint on the Great White Way.
  • Wow, I get way too upset about Making the Band.
  • Whatever happened to O-Town?
  • Capricorn and I spent Friday night at a church 20-somethings Game Night. We played a game called "The Game of Things." Example: "Things You Wear to Bed." I might write down, "t-shirt," "boxers" or "love cuffs." Then you go around the room, guessing who said what. I was terrible at the game, as I went for jokes rather than winning. Sample answer: "What's with the guy who got the "heart" power on Captain Planet," in response to "Things you'd complain about in hell."
  • Saturday: Capricorn and I had Date Night. Sure, we've been dating for seven months now, but sometimes you need to set an actual day where you purposefully do something planned and romantic. Taking her out for McNuggets doesn't count.* So I cooked dinner (fajitas), we went out for dessert, and came back and watched "The Reader." Capricorn had been dying to see this Kate Winslet movie for months. It's excellent-- tell your boyfriends that Kate is crazy nude in the movie. Then they will be sucked in before they realize it's actually about love and stuff.
  • Sunday: You need know nothing more about Capricorn than this: We watched The Reader Saturday, and then she was all about my selection for Sunday: "Notorious," a biopic of the life and tragedy of Notorious B.I.G. No-no-no-Notorious! Coincidentally, there's a lot of nudity in this movie too, but it's mostly hos going down on Big Poppa, who evidently was the cock of the walk. It's a good movie, if, like me, you love old-school hip-hop (eh, Joshlos?) and get somewhat aroused at hearing classics like "Mo Money, Mo Problems" or "Juicy." If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go watch "The Reader" or something.
  • According to the movie, which Puffy/P Diddy/Diddy/Sean John produced, Puffy used to be a street-savvy gangsta. Now, he says things like "Bitchassness" and gets in arguments with members of boy band Day 26. What would Biggie say about all this, Diddy?
  • I start practice next week for "The Sound of Music." I got the part of Max, so I'll have two songs, lots of stage time and I'll be the comic relief. I'll keep you updated on how things go. I wonder if the director would be open to changing the script so that Max ends up having a secret affair with Maria and fathers her bastard child. Just a thought.
* Unless it's a 10-piece. Those are expensive.

Monday, February 2, 2009

To discuss Super Wild Anniversary Part 2

For the first half of Blogaversary, go here...
For the second half of the narcissistic blogaversary celebration, in true sitcom fashion, I'm marking the occasion with high(low?)lights of past Wild ARS posts...
Most of this stuff just makes me shake my head and wonder what I was thinking:
  • "You know you are a broke, broke man when 35 cents crushes your budget." Aug. 5
  • I never did figure out what happened to my dinner- Aug. 7
  • "Girls will notice if you touch their hands, even if it's lightly. God created them with sensors that detect things men can't detect, such as hearing a child's cry, the blooming of a flower, or the artistic quality of the Jonas Brothers." Aug. 11
  • "So, let me get this straight- this dog survived some kind of Amish torture chamber where she may or may not have been touched in her private spot, and her smile reminds people of broken combs.... Sign me up!" Sept. 3
  • "We settled on Madame Capricorn, which makes her sound like a fortune teller or a dominatrix, either of which sounds mysterious and wonderful." Sept. 22 (First mention of Capricorn)
  • An entire blog post written on a typewriter: Sept. 30
  • "Aubrey and D Woods, who wears a half-mullett, go on a "Sea Trek," which is kind of like scuba diving. Aubrey wears an ill-fitting bikini for the occasion, perhaps to attract male dolphins to her cleavage. Aubrey, watch out. Dolphins hit it and quit it." Oct. 9
  • "When Lauren Conrad wants to feel sexy, she puts on"fancy panties." Something about that phrase sounds very unsexy, like they are rhinestone-covered granny panties." Nov. 12
  • "I know I haven't had problems getting along with gay guys. They love me. A lot. Thank you, Connecticut- I got asked out by more gay guys than straight girls. (Ben: Do you want to grab a coffee sometime? Me: (awkward silence, then subtle nod))"Nov. 20 co-blog
  • "Song lyric: 'Want her to look beautiful if Momma meets Jesus tonight.' ARS: Just a point of reference, man- Jesus spent most of His time taking everyone's shoes off and washing them, not putting them on. So, a nice foot bath would do the trick. Or a Bible." Dec. 15
  • "If you get an erection and need to pee without a urinal nearby, you are forced to stand at a rakish angle normally reserved for Picasso paintings and spinal cord injuries." Jan. 4
  • "Femi now declares he's "like a bald eagle," which means he's close to extinction or he shaved his vagina." Jan. 7
Thanks again... tomorrow is the Month in Review, and don't forget the season finale of Bromance is tonight! And by that, I mean, don't watch like usual, and let me summarize it.
Don't even get me started on Making the Band's new season. It's the stuff TV Play by Plays are made for...
And thanks to everyone who has participated in my embarrassing photo event; keep 'em coming.
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