To discuss a blogaversary: Two years, and no need for Viagra yet

First of all, a confession. I am writing this in my underwear. I don't want to hide anything from you, so I thought I'd put it out there.

Maybe that's how comfortable I've become blogging since Aug. 1, 2008. That's when I started Wild ARS Chase, at the time having no idea how to blog but wanting some excuse to write down all the things that pop in my head. A snippet of that first entry, about a college-age guy trying to tell me how to pick up women:

"He’s telling me he can help me learn how to pick up women (oh, the advice I need... of course, he's what I like to call "in shape" and "handsome," which helps. I'm what I like to call "the wingman"). I’m thinking, dude, when I was your age, we were doing old school flirting. Instant message style. Emoticons. ;). Bam. That's a relationship right there. :o) ... can you resist that?"

Since then, I :

• Had nearly a two-year relationship with Capricorn
• Took my dog to the vet numerous times, with Bailey racking up ridiculous bills
• Moved to a different part of town
• Performed in two different musicals
• Became an uncle
• Wrote more than 425 blog posts (Here's last year's recap of my first year of blogging, which included some of my favorite posts, such as my Snuggie review and the big fake Cosmo magazine Ben and I put together)
• Started a new relationship

I haven't given many details at all about that last facet, in part because it was really tough telling all of you about Capricorn and I breaking up, as if the two of you were breaking up, too. That's why it's weird to talk about your relationships on a blog.

But I'd still like to give you a few details: She's an elementary school teacher ... She is doing a musical with me ... She has a wonderful singing voice ... She and Bailey get along splendidly ... As for a nickname, I've settled on Belle. Why Belle? Well, she played that character in "Beauty and the Beast." Thankfully, she didn't play Gaston, because that would just be a weird blogging nickname. Or an awesome one. Hmmm...

In the meantime, let me offer you some of my favorite posts of the past year:

• A fake House Hunters episode (which got a comment from the real life former host of the show, Suzanne Whang).
• A remake of the terrible Christmas Shoes song
• One of my most commented on posts was this one, which allowed everyone to update each other on new URLs for their blogs or other changes, as it seems it's almost impossible to keep up with everything.
• My ode to healthy dog food, which helped inspire some of you to change what you feed your dog.
• And finally, Things I Know at Age 27.

Who knows what will happen in this next year, but I do plan to write as much as I can (and that will increase once I wrap up Music Man, the second of back-to-back musicals I'm doing). What are my other plans this blogging year? Well, I'm going to make a foray into stand-up comedy at some point, just to say I did it. And I also am sure Bailey will need to go to the vet at some point. Oh, and I'll probably give my nephew the sex talk. Busy year.

To discuss a look back at one year of Wild ARS Chase, for better or worse or worser

"All the kids are doing it these days.... blogging, that is (oh, and the chronic)."

That's how Wild ARS Chase started one year ago this past Saturday. So much has changed since then, both in my life and on the blog, it's almost like Elizabeth Berkley on Saved by the Bell and on Showgirls - sure, it's the same person, but in name only.

Many of you have already given me congratulations, which is much appreciated. What's most interesting about Aug. 1 2008 versus Aug. 1 2009 might be the change in readership- a lot of newbies, some diehards and a porn spammer or two.

To refresh the memory of my longtime readers (I can say that now-- it's been a year) and those who jumped on board bandwagon style, I thought we'd take a stroll through memory lane. More of a marathon (sorry about the length- it's a year, after all), but memory lane nonetheless. And if you've never commented before, um, can you say hi this time, so I can prove you exist?

Coincidentally, this is post #300.

August

• Had my first TV Play by Play, reviewing The CW's "Girlicious" Excerpt :16 Jenna’s having cramps, she announces during her dancing practice. She doesn’t want anyone to think she’s a quitter, so she toughs it out. By curling up on her bed and quitting.
• I divulge my extraordinary Seven Steps to Holding Hands method, am considered for Nobel Peace Prize.
• Do my first co-blog with Tracie, as we cover the summer Olympics and I profess my love for Alicia Sacramone.
• And I wrap up with my first month in review (I was full of ideas back then. Those were the good days), where I say my artist of the month, Adele, is a mix of Alicia Keys, Jill Scott and Joss Stone, "Like a biracial lesbian test tube baby."
  

September

• My first "America's Next Top Model" play by play, which has become a bit of a signature for W.A.C.
• I go on the worst date of my life. Check that. I tried to go on the worst date of my life.
• I introduce you to my chiweenie (that's my dog, not my crotch)
• And I meet Capricorn, the soon to be love of my life who goes from casual mention to blog regular. Excerpt: "We settled on Madame Capricorn, which makes her sound like a fortune teller or a dominatrix, either of which sounds mysterious and wonderful."
• Oh, and I wrote a blog post on a typewriter.
  

October

• I posed 10 questions about 90s TV shows, one of many references to 90s pop culture that just kind of evolved as an underlying them of W.A.C.
• I went to St. Louis (and stayed at a hotel across from an Obama rally). I also saw Jesus.
• Capricorn and I nearly peed ourselves after watching this.
  
• And we celebrated Fall Fest 2008.

November

• Capricorn met my parents, which reminded me of an ex's crazy father.
• In perhaps my best idea, I started my "What I Learned from Cosmo" feature. If Cosmo would send me the August edition, I'd write another one.
• I referred to one of my favorite bloggers by the wrong name.
• And I had one of my most successful-- visitor-wise-- blog post series, when I hooked up with Ben (sadly, only in writing) for a No Ordinary Rollercoaster-Wild ARS Chase event here, here and here. I've heard it was second only to the Obama election in 2008 hype.
• I give you 100 things to know about me. One thing not included: I have a basketball-shaped pillow I sleep with every night like a teddy bear. True story.
• That was part of my first inaugural Get to Know Me Week.

December

• Wow, November was action-packed, wasn't it? December is like sloppy blogging seconds.
• Capricorn and I said three special words to each other, right before I went on a trip to Atlanta.
• I ripped on that Christmas Shoes song.
• Joshlos and I broke down the best sports movies from our lifetime. Summer Catch, somehow, does not make the list.
• And Kate and I give our resolutions. Suprisingly, I've actually kept up with all of them, except for the part about convincing Natalie Portman and Capricorn to make out.
  

January

• I did my best to offend several of my fellow church-goers by debating who has it worse- girls with their ladybits or guys with their manparts.
• I gave out the inaugural Wild ARS Awards.
• I start doing play by plays of ultra homoerotic "Bromance" episodes.
• And I publish some incriminating childhood photos.

February

• Finger Talks does a hilarious guest post in honor of my birthday.
• I do commentary on the Grammys. Excerpt: "Chris Brown gets announced for his nominated song, "No Air." I now realize that song was Jordin Sparks' plea for help."
• And I roll out a new feature, Love Coach texts, and a second installment of Music I Loved Fridays.

March

• In one week, I find out my work is forcing us to take five unpaid days off, my brother is admitted to the hospital and I find out I have to pay double rent.
• I balance out my magazine reviews my recapping Maxim. Thus begins the first of several Google searches landing on my blog in search of scantily clad women.
• Bailey costs me $300, and I gripe about moving.

April

• Another W.A.C. special: As Seen on TV Week, with PediPaws, Shamwow, Hercules Hooks, and other terrible products.
• Oh, and let's not forget the Snuggie review, which might have been the crowd favorite.
• As if that wasn't enough embarrassment, I responded to a challenge by Haute Pocket by replicating my Fake Andy Shaw of the Month photo.

May

• I explain to Jenners' readers all about the male mind.
• Capricorn rode a tractor, with video evidence.
• I break my computer and visit an amusement park, all in one weekend.

June

• I gave you my 10 Top Embarrassing Songs on my iTunes playlist.
• Then I took the rest of the month off...

July

• ... because I was in a musical, "The Sound of Music."
• Then I gave you all some social media training.
• Recapped the glorious "16 and Pregnant" finale
• And wrote a guest post for Ms. Pocket in honor of her 25th birthday.

---------------------------------------
So, that's it. I almost forgot about some of that stuff. You'd think this was almost a legitimate blog, looking backing at all of this. Here's hoping I can keep it up for Year 2... thanks for supporting me-- I consider you the sponsors to my Blogging Anonymous. To thank you, I've got a special surprise planned I hope to have available later this month. No, it's not a puppy.

To discuss a brief reminder, one year in the making

I'll do much more with this come early next week, so hopefully you come back for that, but I didn't want to let today go by without announcing that this day, August 1, is the one year blogaversary of WildARSChase.

Can you freakin' believe that? Obviously, I didn't, judging by my first-ever entry, which I republished below for your perusal. You'll notice even then, I liked to mix in old-school hip hop and STD references. It's my calling card.
You might also want to take a look at this post about a college kid trying to tell me he can help me pick up women (this is pre-Capricorn, mind you), also published that first day.

Looks like I've come a long way since I had one commenter, who happened to go to college with me. Thanks to all of you for letting me do this for a year-- I say "letting," because you very easily could have quashed my blogging aspirations a long time ago (there's still time-- be gentle).

I particularly enjoy this line: "...although it'd be great if eventually this gets out past just my circle of friends..." You can tell I was just oozing with all the confidence of Sarah Palin in a Katie Couric interview...no?... all the confidence of Miss California at an Elton John concert.... still nothing?... all the confidence of Doug Funny asking out Patty Valentine. There. That does it.
-------------------------------------

All the kids are doing it these days.... blogging, that is (oh, and the chronic).
So, to give me more opportunity to write for fun, to tell you about all the weird things that happen to me (including a review of incidents in the past that may or may not go down as legendary), I'm going to attempt to keep a regularly updated blog.
Think it's a good idea?
It's gotta be better than most of my ideas....
Anyway, although it'd be great if eventually this gets out past just my circle of friends, for now, I will rely on you who know me to leave comments and such.... because I already spend too much time on Facebook, so let's use this as a new opportunity!
Wait, I don't think kids use the chronic anymore. I think it's the X. Or is it syphilis?

To discuss Super Wild Anniversary Part 2

For the first half of Blogaversary, go here...
For the second half of the narcissistic blogaversary celebration, in true sitcom fashion, I'm marking the occasion with high(low?)lights of past Wild ARS posts...
Most of this stuff just makes me shake my head and wonder what I was thinking:

• "You know you are a broke, broke man when 35 cents crushes your budget." Aug. 5
  
• I never did figure out what happened to my dinner- Aug. 7
• "Girls will notice if you touch their hands, even if it's lightly. God created them with sensors that detect things men can't detect, such as hearing a child's cry, the blooming of a flower, or the artistic quality of the Jonas Brothers." Aug. 11
• "So, let me get this straight- this dog survived some kind of Amish torture chamber where she may or may not have been touched in her private spot, and her smile reminds people of broken combs.... Sign me up!" Sept. 3
• "We settled on Madame Capricorn, which makes her sound like a fortune teller or a dominatrix, either of which sounds mysterious and wonderful." Sept. 22 (First mention of Capricorn)
• An entire blog post written on a typewriter: Sept. 30
• "Aubrey and D Woods, who wears a half-mullett, go on a "Sea Trek," which is kind of like scuba diving. Aubrey wears an ill-fitting bikini for the occasion, perhaps to attract male dolphins to her cleavage. Aubrey, watch out. Dolphins hit it and quit it." Oct. 9
• "When Lauren Conrad wants to feel sexy, she puts on"fancy panties." Something about that phrase sounds very unsexy, like they are rhinestone-covered granny panties." Nov. 12
• "I know I haven't had problems getting along with gay guys. They love me. A lot. Thank you, Connecticut- I got asked out by more gay guys than straight girls. (Ben: Do you want to grab a coffee sometime? Me: (awkward silence, then subtle nod))"Nov. 20 co-blog
• "Song lyric: 'Want her to look beautiful if Momma meets Jesus tonight.' ARS: Just a point of reference, man- Jesus spent most of His time taking everyone's shoes off and washing them, not putting them on. So, a nice foot bath would do the trick. Or a Bible." Dec. 15
• "If you get an erection and need to pee without a urinal nearby, you are forced to stand at a rakish angle normally reserved for Picasso paintings and spinal cord injuries." Jan. 4
• "Femi now declares he's "like a bald eagle," which means he's close to extinction or he shaved his vagina." Jan. 7

Thanks again... tomorrow is the Month in Review, and don't forget the season finale of Bromance is tonight! And by that, I mean, don't watch like usual, and let me summarize it.
Don't even get me started on Making the Band's new season. It's the stuff TV Play by Plays are made for...
And thanks to everyone who has participated in my embarrassing photo event; keep 'em coming.

To discuss a Super Wild Anniversary Part 1

I can't believe it! Who would've ever thought this would happen back in August! It's more than I could have ever asked for!

Yesterday marked my six-month blogaversary.

Oh, and my hometown Steelers won the Super Bowl, too.

Brief Super Bowl sidenote: Capricorn, a Ravens fan, was tuckered out by the fourth quarter, as she and Bailey felt asleep beside me. Meanwhile, I'm more tense than Michael Phelps awaiting drug test results. The Cardinals got a safety and the quick touchdown near the end of the game, causing me to leap from the couch, as Capricorn did the "What in the world is going on?" face. I spent the rest of the game bouncing nervously in front of the TV. I'm fairly sure my heart stopped beating for a moment, not unlike Stanley during last night's "The Office" episode. Also: Capricorn has officially requested the Jonas Brothers be the halftime show next year. I have officially requested it be anybody whose primary fanbase doesn't have grown children.... and who isn't named Jessica or Beyonce.

Back to this guy: I started Wild ARS Chase Aug. 1 with this random post. I got one comment, from a former classmate, so I don't know if that counts. Plus, she complimented me by saying: "Again, nothing better to do while at work."
I never would have thought I could pull off six months of this, let alone have so many commenters and regular readers who I'm not related to at all. I'll hit 200 total posts this week, and have had more than 14,000 visitors since I started, both totals that are as ridiculous to me as Jessica Alba's acting career.
So, thanks for all the support; I've already shared much of my appreciation through the Wild ARS Awards.

Later on, I'll have a list of highlights from the past six months. For now, here are some noteworthy compliments about this blog. You all have a weird way of showing appreciation. If this was a movie poster, you'd all get the captions at the bottom:

• You're like the gay friend I wish I had, except your straight.(Heather, who won a Wild ARS Award for this)
• Andy will pop culture the piss out of you. (JenBun, also an award winner)
• He makes me literally laugh out loud on a daily basis. (She's Lump)
• I'm totally going to stalk you. (kk)
• If I was 20 years younger, I'd totally have a crush on him. (Diane)
• (He's) basically me with a penis. I am addicted to this blog and feel like spreading the infection.(Finger Talks)
• Andy is the Jim-from-The-Office of bloggers, and he makes Pams of us all. (Southern Belle)
• He regularly blows my cover at work, when I start to laugh out loud (SamIAm)
• He has an adorable dog (Kellielea)
• (WAC gets an award) Because he has a dog named Bailey too. But it's a boy. Which is just weird. (Jossie Posie)
• Damn you are good! I think you should quit your job and become a full-time comedy writer! You are that good! Of course, I'm not going to fund you for the first penniless years while you struggle and eventually break through but I support you in your decision to do so. (Jenners)
  

Thanks, everyone. You are all way too kind. And brutally honest... come back later today for some other festivities.

To discuss a month in review: See You in September

It's October, or, as big box stores like to call it, "Two months into the holiday shopping season."
October does have a lot of tantalizing facets, including watching a lot of horror movies, watching the leaves turn colors and not feeling guilty about buying and eating bags of candy.
But first, let's recap the best and worst of September. If I could, I'd bust out my falsetto and sing "See You in September" old school style: "Or lose you... to a summer lo-oo-oo-oo-ve."
On to the good stuff:

• Favorite movie: "Forgetting Sarah Marshall." It's a good thing I watched this yesterday, on the last qualifying day, because I didn't see any good movies until then. There's a lot to like in this one- Jonah Hill's slightly gay crush, Jason Segal's comic delivery, sea turtle screwing season... I've liked most Judd Apatow movies, even if the media has a strange crush on him....Runner-up: "Father of the Bride." (I watch that movie every time it comes on. You got a problem with that?)
  
• Least favorite movie: "The Benchwarmers." My Tivo recorded it as one of the You Might Like This kind of deals. Tivo doesn't know me as well as it thinks it does and will need to make up for this poor choice with a romantic dinner or flowers or something. This is a terrible, terrible movie, and cements Jon Heder as a one-movie wonder with Napoleon Dynomite. It's almost like they tried to hit every stereotype out there for a tough-luck youth baseball team, including having a Latino dad forge a birth certificate to play, only he drinks in between innings and shouts in Spanglish. The originality overwhelms me. Runner-up: "Ghost Town."
• Favorite song: "Creator" Santogold... I can't stop playing that song. The beat is just off the chain or hook or whatever the kids say these days. It makes me want to be the star of a Mitsubish Eclipse commercial, like the replacement for "Days Go By" or something.
  
• Runner-up "Sex on Fire," Kings of Leon.
  
• Least favorite song: "Single" New Kids on the Block. I have never been a 12-year-old girl, so I missed out on the first go-round of NKOTB, but isn't it weird they are acting like they are still the same age? That "Summertime" song was something LFO would sing, minus the Abercrombie and Fitch... And this new song is all about finding a girl in the club. Aren't you past the age where you should be finding girls in the club? You've got kids, dude. Jiminy Christmas....Runner-up "One Step at a Time," Jordin Sparks.
  
• Favorite album: "Neon Bible," Arcade Fire. I've had this album for months, but I've been getting back into it lately, possibly because of its awesomeness. There's actually a great Christian-y song on there, "Antichrist Television Blues." They've done the best job recently at my ongoing contest, "Who Can Come Close to Andy's Favorite Band, Radiohead." ... Runner-up: "Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace," The Offspring. (no least favorite album... well, beside anything Akon puts out).
  
• Best TV Show: "House." Finally, there's some new TV on. House is as great as ever. I won't try to summarize the shows- KeepYourReceipt does it justice more than I can, plus she wants to have relations with Hugh Laurie, while I only appreciate his acting- but I'm glad to see it back in action. Runner up: "Heroes" and "How I Met Your Mother."
  
• Worst TV show: "Hole in the Wall." I'd much rather they go with live, public flogging than have this show on. I'd watch, for sure.
  
• Best moment: When Capricorn said she'd be my girlfriend.
  
• Worst moment: Getting stood up twice on the same day by the same girl. Runner up: Having to watch Bailey get poked and prodded by the Grey's Anatomy: Vet Edition team, then watching him awkwardly walking with his giant E-collar on like Britney Spears after a blow party.
  
• Best decision: Asking Capricorn to go see a movie with me a day earlier than we originally planned to first meet each other. So then on Sunday, the next day, we had the whole afternoon together but the first-meeting awkwardness was already out of the way. I'm so smart sometimes.
  
• Worst decision: Trusting that XXX would actually live up to her word and show up at her house when I drove 30 miles to see her.
• Favorite Blog Entry by Me: The Q&A that Haute Pocket and I co-wrote, which was the bees' knees of blog entries. Runner up: To Discuss A Quick Synopsis of Andy's Latest Failure.
  
• Favorite Blog Entry by Someone Else: Finger-Talks and this excellent entry about a night on the town. A sample: "Stage one: lots of glass clinking toasts to various body party's and vulgar activities and compliments on outfits. Stage two: Facebook stalking."
  
  Quick blog thought: It's my two-month blogaversary today. Unfortunately, Hallmark has not yet created such a card. But, to celebrate, I will have a co-blog coming soon, plus some other good to potentially very good ideas bound to be screwed up in implementation.

To discuss a month in review: August

What happened to August? No, seriously? Did you steal it? Give it back. I'll trade you my March and November for it.
To cap off the last month of summer, here's a look back at my favorite and least favorite experiences of August, with lots of links to distract you from reading this entire post...

• Favorite movie: Both "Harold and Kumar" movies. Some blockbusters, like "The Dark Knight," were very good, but it's not like I'll want to see them again and again. Harold and Kumar aren't usually the type I like- most stoner movies rely too much on making jokes about stoners saying stuff about being high, but never actually go any deeper. But I laughed out loud a ton during these two movies, and most comedies lately can't do that. Plus, Neil Patrick Harris is simply the cat's meow (man, I finally got to use that phrase... what a relief). Runner-up: "Lars and the Real Girl."
  
• Least favorite movie: From Justin to Kelly. It's on right now, and it's as bad as everyone said it is. I didn't even know it's a musical. It's not even as good as Grease 2. They try to force Justin Guarini to like women, and you can tell that just doesn't work. And Kelly Clarkson has that awful chunky highlight thing going on. It made me vomit in my mouth a little bit. Runner-up: "Tropic Thunder."
  
• Favorite song: "I'll Be Seeing You," Billie Holliday. Sure, sure- I heard it in "The Notebook." And we all know how that night ended up. But that's a good song, and you know it. Billie's voice makes you want to slow dance on a pier-- all I need is a pier. And a girl. And Billie not to be dead.... Runner-up "Electric Feel," MGMT.
  
• Least favorite song: "Burnin' Up," Jonas Brothers. I get it- they're cute, curly-haired dudes. Whatever. They can't sing. They can't play their instruments. This is not a good song. They can't finish off lyrical phrases properly, and the whole song has, what, three chords? Maybe I'm getting old.... Runner-up "Shake It," Metro Station.
  
• Favorite album: Adele, "19". If Jill Scott had a sore throat and then became the surrogate mother of Alicia Keys' baby with Joss Stone as the stepmother, that would be what Adele sounds like. Like a biracial lesbian test tube baby. Well, actually, I'm sure she likes boys, but the point is that this British pop-soul singer makes simple songs into experiences. Showstoppers include "Chasing Pavements," "Make You Feel My Love" and "Hometown Glory," which might end up being one of my top 10 favorite songs of the year, even though it sounds very similar to Sia's "Breathe Me." ... Runner-up "Once" movie soundtrack. (no least favorite album)
  
• Best TV Show: "The Wire," Season 1. Well, normally this will be a new show, but it's all re-runs right now. So I finally started watching The Wire, and it has to be one of the best-acted shows I've ever seen, and I don't say that lightly. I can't believe they only made five seasons of this.
• Worst TV show: Parental Control (MTV). I get the premise- parents want to get their son/daughter to ditch their significant other, so they set them up on two dates. But the show gets too creepy. There are too many times when the dads say again and again how hot the girls are that they chose for their son. They ask them about sex, ask them their favorite body parts, etc. But the girls are in high school. And the moms never say anything about it. Don't you think that's why your son is choosing the wrong women, mom? Dad's trying to bang the 16-year-olds. It's like "American Beauty" without the rose petals. MTV, I liked you more when you showed "Singled Out."
  
• Best moment: Getting to spend a weekend with college friends. It's too bad no one has come up with a way to keep all the friendship benefits of college without the whole going to class thing, once you graduate. When you're working, you never get the same close contact with people. You can't go down the hall at 1 a.m. and knock on their door.
  
• Worst moment: Fighting back the remorseful, bitter tears of an afternoon without America's Favorite Snack Cake.
  
• Best decision: Uh, starting this blog. (Stop snickering.)
  
• Worst decision: Trusting that my dinner wouldn't explode on me. Would you believe I stepped on a sliver of glass yesterday? I'll never get all the glass swept up.
• Fake TV girlfriends I've claimed this month: Alicia Sacramone, Andrea from Danity Kane, and quite possibly Sarah Palin, Republican V.P. candidate.
  
  Quick blog thought: I've been fiddling with a bunch of crap on here lately. One thing I'm trying to decide is if I should keep doing the "Read more" formatting for posts so you can quickly skim down the main page and find what you want, or if I should post the entire body of each entry in its entirety so you don't have to click as much. What do you prefer? Anything else you like/don't like? (and don't say the writing quality, jag-off)
  
  Also- get excited. Like, pee your pants excited, except don't pee your pants because that will gross out others and leave a stain... There are some cool new blog features coming up in the next month-- a Q&A with a special guest blogger (details coming) is one example-- plus, with TV returning, there should be more TV play by plays. Commence peeing.

To discuss what I would do if I sang out of tune, would Blog stand up and walk out on me

Man, I wish I had Daniel Stern in my room right now. You know, the tall burglar from Home Alone. Not because I want to hit him in the face with an iron-- even though I do, I really do-- but because he was the narrator on "The Wonder Years." Did you know that?* I could really use the services of a narrator right now, because now that I managed to keep up this blog for a month (how have any of you kept it up longer than that?), I need a pensive, thought-provoking moment to reflect on what I've learned about blogging, about life and about me since Aug. 1.** So, 10 things I've learned, narrated by Daniel Stern with Kevin and Winnie making out in the background, even though Winnie was never that hot and Kevin should've stuck with that fine girl he met on summer vacation and kissed by the pier.... oh, um, anyway:

1. Bloggers refer to each other by their blog title, not their actual name. When I went to the Harrisburg blogger meeting, most of the bloggers referred to each other by their blog title. How embarrassing that my blog title sounds like a six-year-old came up with it.
2. There are days when I look more forward to what I'm writing in my blog than the actual writing I get paid to do as a journalist. The problem is that no one will pay me to write about The Hills and my fake TV girlfriends, but they will pay me to write about school board meetings. Which would you rather read about? Exactly. Fortunately, I do love my job. Maybe they'll let me write about The Hills as an education piece about the decay of adolescent society. Hmm.
3. I forgot how much I like writing funny stuff. You have to remember, I've written hundreds of news articles the past few years, and rarely wrote anything else. So, the fact I can write about my failed relationships for your enjoyment is pretty kick me in the crotch fantastic.
4. Blogging and Twitter are much faster, easier ways to keep people updated on what I'm up to than actual conversation. Because, really, talking is slow. It also involves listening, and, hell... wait, what did you say?
5. AOL instant messenger now seems prehistoric. I will tell my kids (the ones I'll adopt from Africa to save them from Angelina Jolie) one day that back when Daddy was 12 or 13, he talked to girls on AIM every day. There was no Facebook to find friends on...In comparison, I've read many of your blogs and commented back and forth with you, and already feel like I know you the same way I would have if we talked on AIM. And that's all without the needless Dateline host busting in on my house to ask me if I know how old you are. (You are legal, right?)
   
6. Reading blogs every day takes up a lot of time. I'm now trying to remember what I did with myself when I wasn't trying to keep tabs on everyone's posts. I think I walked my dog more, because I remember more urine ending up outside than in my kitchen.
7. I hate HTML. I never had to mess with that crap before. Now I'm installing widgets and trying to figure out what the numeric value of a color is and hyperventilating and wishing I wasn't so mildly aroused at the thought of formatting templates.
8. Writing about everything that happens to you means everybody knows everything that happens to you. Which means there are some things I've written about here that only a few people knew about before, and now it's out for everyone to read. I figure I might as well be honest... but if my mom ever reads this, she'll talk about me in a hushed voice and take me away to an undisclosed location. Pray for me. (BTW- My mom's actually awesome. But she does talk to cats)
9. Sitemeter, just like a Jennifer Love Hewitt movie, is the bane of my existence. Despite knowing exactly what the results will be (daily visitor totals/mediocre acting), I can't help but incessantly check out what's going on (page view updates/cleavage) in hopes things are improving. But, invariably, it's usually about the same with no hopes of greatly improving (lack of talent on my part/lack of talent on her part). It's just that there are those rare days when I see potential and wonder, what if? (the day I had a huge spike from "Alicia Sacramone" searches/the day I watched "Heartbreakers" and found JLH charming and funny while she wore the tightest dresses possible).
10. (Slightly sappy part) Reading your comments often are a highlight of my week. To know that you find this stuff funny and relatable is great. To those who never comment- uh, dude, it takes like two seconds and you don't even have to register. You can make your username Ginger Rogers if you want to. In fact, do so.
    

* Bob Saget is also the narrator on How I Met Your Mother. I'm still holding out hope that the mother is Mary Kate Olsen (fingers crossed!).
** Don't worry. This won't be done seriously. And, to be honest, I don't even have pants on right now. True story. So, understand I won't get sappy on you.***
*** First off, I just triple-asterisked my double asterisk. Bam. That's never been done before in the English language, and I'm a little proud of myself right now. Second, I'm wearing boxers right now with footballs on them, but I'm usually a plain boxer-briefs kind of guy. What I want to know is what you, ladies, prefer a guy wear. Boxers? Boxer-briefs? Tighty-whities? Depends?

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Coming up soon- My tops of August- top movie, song, blog posts, etc. That gives you ample time to think of yours.

To discuss a week-aversary using crude humor

Can you believe I've been doing this for a week? I've got the attention span of a goldfish with ADD, and yet I keep putting up posts, and even more surprising, people keep reading them.
There's been more than 150 visitors so far-- including 100 of me (I do love myself).
There's even been visitors from all over the world, including England, Australia, Korea and Canada. I'm guessing that they visited because the cultural translation for "Wild ARS Chase" is "Paris Hilton Sex Video," but I'll still take it.
What's more, my mom hasn't discovered this site yet, in part because she likely thinks a blog is a piece of Ikea furniture. But as long as she doesn't check this, I can continue using words and phrases like sex, boob and Paris Hilton sex video without fear of a hairy palm laced-guilt trip of my certain damnation. I already have the book of Romans to do that.
I do hope to continue writing often, and I'm even more inspired when you guys leave comments, so keep that up. Otherwise, I'd feel like I'm only writing for my ego and my hairy palms, and, well, I can't handle two big things at once.
Good... got that out of my system.
I do love celebrating one-week anniversaries. It's like you're back in middle school, and you pass a note to your girlfriend on the week mark, with a big heart in it, declaring your unending love. And when most of my relationships at that age were about 3 weeks long anyway, a week was a 1/3 of the time I had. That's basically buy a house/have the first kid/consider leaving her for your secretary territory.
I remember one 8th grade romance where we decided around the one week mark that our official song would be "Lovefool" by the Cardigans (an odd choice, in hindsight). What was your official song?