To discuss moving over to a new website

Hey!

Some of you, if not all, likely noticed by now that I've moved operations over to a new website.

No, that doesn't mean I'm folding up blog writing. It just means that all the performance stuff I've been developing in the past year - often at the detriment of getting any writing done - has created a need for a bigger, more expansive site.

All of that is just a fancy way of saying WildARSChase doesn't meet my needs. I'm not sure if they are feminine needs, but they are needs.

So I developed http://andyshawcomedy.com. It still has all my old posts, but also will help me show you what I'm up to with stand up comedy and improv comedy, both of which I love hard. Like, real hard. And I'm still writing blog posts, too (like the one about the Top 10 of Everything 1998). The WildARSChase name is being phased out gradually, although you can still get me on Twitter @WildARSChase.

I think your feeds should switch over, based on what I set up. But please update any bookmarks! And if you have any issues, or maybe even just want to tell me this is all a really dumb idea, email me at wildarschase@yahoo.com. Or add me on Facebook!

I started this blog about three years ago - first post here - and have loved the hundreds of people I've interacted with, and the thousands of times people have decided to read my random thoughts. I think this will help me stay more up to date by keeping everything under one site, and I really hope you'll decide to join me there.

Thanks for all of your support, and let's meet up over at the new place!

Hugs and kisses,
Andy

To discuss a blogaversary: Two years, and no need for Viagra yet

First of all, a confession. I am writing this in my underwear. I don't want to hide anything from you, so I thought I'd put it out there.

Maybe that's how comfortable I've become blogging since Aug. 1, 2008. That's when I started Wild ARS Chase, at the time having no idea how to blog but wanting some excuse to write down all the things that pop in my head. A snippet of that first entry, about a college-age guy trying to tell me how to pick up women:

"He’s telling me he can help me learn how to pick up women (oh, the advice I need... of course, he's what I like to call "in shape" and "handsome," which helps. I'm what I like to call "the wingman"). I’m thinking, dude, when I was your age, we were doing old school flirting. Instant message style. Emoticons. ;). Bam. That's a relationship right there. :o) ... can you resist that?"

Since then, I :

• Had nearly a two-year relationship with Capricorn
• Took my dog to the vet numerous times, with Bailey racking up ridiculous bills
• Moved to a different part of town
• Performed in two different musicals
• Became an uncle
• Wrote more than 425 blog posts (Here's last year's recap of my first year of blogging, which included some of my favorite posts, such as my Snuggie review and the big fake Cosmo magazine Ben and I put together)
• Started a new relationship

I haven't given many details at all about that last facet, in part because it was really tough telling all of you about Capricorn and I breaking up, as if the two of you were breaking up, too. That's why it's weird to talk about your relationships on a blog.

But I'd still like to give you a few details: She's an elementary school teacher ... She is doing a musical with me ... She has a wonderful singing voice ... She and Bailey get along splendidly ... As for a nickname, I've settled on Belle. Why Belle? Well, she played that character in "Beauty and the Beast." Thankfully, she didn't play Gaston, because that would just be a weird blogging nickname. Or an awesome one. Hmmm...

In the meantime, let me offer you some of my favorite posts of the past year:

• A fake House Hunters episode (which got a comment from the real life former host of the show, Suzanne Whang).
• A remake of the terrible Christmas Shoes song
• One of my most commented on posts was this one, which allowed everyone to update each other on new URLs for their blogs or other changes, as it seems it's almost impossible to keep up with everything.
• My ode to healthy dog food, which helped inspire some of you to change what you feed your dog.
• And finally, Things I Know at Age 27.

Who knows what will happen in this next year, but I do plan to write as much as I can (and that will increase once I wrap up Music Man, the second of back-to-back musicals I'm doing). What are my other plans this blogging year? Well, I'm going to make a foray into stand-up comedy at some point, just to say I did it. And I also am sure Bailey will need to go to the vet at some point. Oh, and I'll probably give my nephew the sex talk. Busy year.

To discuss a Month in Review: June, and I'm back

I'm back, and bigger* and better** than ever! (* Actually, not bigger. Curse you, Extenze!) (** Actually, not better. Curse you, lack of ability!)

Well, I'm still back. It's been a month since I was last blogging. I most definitely needed June off, as I spent precious few minutes at home in between work and the musical, "Sound of Music." There really was no time for blogging, and, as you may recall, Capricorn told me I was "half-assing it," so I decided it was better to take a break (Not like a Ross and Rachel break... a real break) and then come back full force.

So what have you missed? Here's the Month in Review, which hopefully will get you up to speed so we can get right back into things with all the ferocity of Jon & Kate plus Hate.

Favorite movie: "Star Trek" My mom used to make all of us watch Star Trek: The Next Generation, so I'm a Trekky by association. Capricorn had never watched any of it. But we were both more than pleased with this latest installment, which was, in a hyphenated exaggeration, kick-me-in-the-crotch-fantastic. Runner-up: "Bottleshock" Kind of like Sideways, in that it focuses in wine, except subtract Sandra Oh getting jackhammered and add Alan Rickman being pithy and droll. Oh, and Chris Pine (Star Trek's Kirk) is in this, too.

Least favorite movie: "Summer Catch." MTV showed this for some reason, and, like a car wreck or cleavage at an inappropriate moment, I couldn't keep my eyes off it. Jessica Biel and Freddie Prinze Jr are the bizarro Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. And Biel wasn't even hot in this movie-- not even 7th Heaven hot! Technically, I watched this July 1, but I need to write this now to warn others. Runner up: "Max Payne." I love Mark Wahlberg-- "Hey goat. So you live in a barn? I like that about you. I was in The Italian Job. Say hey to your motha for me."-- but this is just bloody awful.

Favorite song: "Panic Switch" Silversun Pickups, "Best I Ever Had," Drake.

Least favorite song: "Fire Burning" Sean Kingston. Sean Kingston's formula: (Formulaic, limited range chorus) + the phrase "Shorty" + a Jamaican accent x incessant radio spins=Top 40 hit - (Andy's will to live).

Favorite album: "It's Blitz" Yeah Yeah Yeahs. "Zero" and "Heads Will Roll" are stellar.

Best TV Show: "True Blood," HBO. At least, I think it's the best TV show. I was catching up on season 1, and then HBO decided not to offer those episodes anymore and switch to season 2. So, I'm stuck at the fourth episode. So far, it's been lots of vampire sex and strange happenings. Runner-up: "Sixteen and Pregnant," MTV. I can't get enough of these teens getting knocked up! Capricorn and I personally enjoyed the the guy who bought his pregnant girlfriend an engagement ring at Wal-mart for $25, after he had spent $300 on a Playstation. It's the thought that counts. And the ring. But mostly, the thought.

Worst TV show: "Silent Library" MTV. Might be their dumbest show to date, which is saying something. The show is about people playing "Jackass"-style silent games in the library and trying not to make noise. Their next show idea? Sustained silent reading.

Best idea: Signing up for Tweetdeck, which has made tweeting much, much easier. So, please follow me @wildarschase. I'd rather not talk to myself anymore than I already do.

Best moments: Getting back on stage, and, more specifically, hearing that applause every night and acting with some great people. Plus, I had a legitimate reason to sing every day. Runner-up: Capricorn's birthday!

Worst moments: Everyone famous died (except Hugh Hefner, who refuses to die). In particular, Billy Mays died. My "As Seen on TV Week" now seems much more like a tribute.

Worst decision: Having to abandon the blog for a month, although it was necessary.

Favorite Photos: Here's a few Sound of Music photos. I'd love to put up video, but I was reminded that's a big copyright no-no to show footage of a licensed show. If it helps, Capricorn, who had never seen me in a musical, said she was impressed enough that she thinks I should keep doing shows, even if that means not being home a ton. That means a lot. Or it means she wants me out of the house... If I figure out a way to get some singing footage on here, I'll do it.

Favorite Blog Entry by Someone Else: I took a break from blog reading too, for the most part, but I do want to give a retro-active nod to one of my longterm blogfriends, Amy XXOO, and the great, albeit surprising, news she received in June. When I first read about it weeks later, I did a Tom & Jerry worthy jaw drop... Please, please let me know if there was any life-changing news in any of your blog posts so I can catch up (or any changes to your web site address). Otherwise, I'll just assume you snorted cocaine/murdered kittens/cut down the rain forest or whatever you usually do.

Blogger of the Month (here's March's winner): No winner for June, since I didn't fully check out blogs, but I have fallen in love with textsfromlastnight.com and fmylife.com. Please enjoy. They are KSFW (kinda safe for work)

Thanks for coming back... you will be rewarded in heaven, or in the post-death afterlife of your choosing.

To discuss Monday, Monday (duh, duh, da da da dum)

Monday, after you recover from
A) Drinking with relatives who have now seen entirely too much of your underwear
B) Blowing off your left hand after lighting a firework with your left one
C) Marching in a Fourth of July parade without being invited

I ask you to return to Wild ARS Chase. Yes, it's been about a month since I last wrote, and it was well worth the break-- I was home and awake about 30 minutes a night, at max, during the final weeks of show prep and show week for "The Sound of Music." My posts would have resembled failed haikus.

See the photo on the right? I told you I was in the show. I wouldn't lie*.

But I've got all next week off from work, so I hope we can reacquaint ourselves, like bumping into an old high school classmate at the Wal-mart, who may or may not have gained 50 pounds and a baby.

Let's fall back in love, shall we? Or can you at least fake it? C'mon, you already do with your boyfriend/husband/kids when they show you their "drawing" of a duck.

See you Monday.

P.S. I'm trying to be a better Twitterer, so follow me @wildarschase. I'll try not to let you down like so many Michael Bay movies.

* Wouldn't lie about that. I'd lie about other things, like about owning an Eiffel 65 CD. I DON'T OWN ONE!

To discuss a summer break so I can sing

I popped the question to Capricorn last night.

...


... No, not that question. Geez, it's been 8 months. This isn't The Hills.

I asked her if I would be better off taking a blog break for the next few weeks, until the end of the show, because I feel like I haven't been able to do nearly as much as I want to lately on here.

She responded, "Yeah, you've kind of been half-assing it."

No one can blame her for not being upfront.

But, she's right-ish. I'd rather do it all the time, with great posts, than just a little here and there, and without time to give all the feedback and check back on other blogs like everyone deserves.

So, I'm doing a hiatus, and will likely come back after the show is done around the end of June (and life is settled down), with lots of photos, and hopefully video, to display. Then, the plan is to pick up full steam, like Michael J. Fox on the Back to the Future III train.

I'll cross my fingers that all of you return by that point, or at least that I can restore some goodwill and convince people to come back, possibly through extortionbegging. Please call me names for abandoning you, if that feels therapeutic. Or call me names for faking you out on the engagement thing.

In the meantime, let me know if you've written your own iTunes Top 10 Embarrassing Songs Post. I think everyone needs to air their dirty music laundry.

To discuss social media friendships: Just like high school, but with more angst and fewer zits

There are big victories in life:

• Finding your true love
• Buying your first house
• Beating the odds against a disease
• Being crowned an American Idol

And there are small victories in life:

• Finding someone to make out with who is at least a 5 on a scale of 1-10. OK, at least a 3 and has all their teeth.
• Renting an apartment that is close to homes that you assume people who actually have money can buy
• Beating the odds against the swine flu
• Being crowned an American Idol on your Nintendo Wii

And, one more small victory:

• Getting to 100 Google followers on your blog

I take pride in the small victories in life. As soon as I have any, I'll let you know.* I was hoping to get to that magical, even number of 100 on the ol' followers list (in the right hand column). Not that it really matters- overall, counting people following on other services, the total is already over 100 (God bless all of you. No, seriously, I mean it. I hope God puts an extra dollar in your pocket or gives you a baby or gets rid of that rash or whatever you want).

But I was so very close, at 99, earlier this week. Now I'm back down to 97, which probably means some people were doing some blogging housekeeping and realized I hadn't made them laugh in a few months. They had to cut the dead wood. Understandable.**

That made me look at my own list of blogs I follow. I had more than 60 on my list. Surely, I thought, I can't be reading allll of these. So I went through and cut out blogs that hadn't been updated since Obama took office.

Most of the others, including all of you who comment regularly, were no brainers to keep. But then I considered some others, and that brings me to the new poll....

Do you keep following a blog, long after you've stopped reading it, because you don't want the person to notice you've stopped following it? Is this the most recent equivalent of removing a friend from your AOL Instant Messenger List, leading to them getting a message they aren't an approved friend when they try to talk to you? Or an even older version, not inviting them to your birthday party when they invited you to theirs?

Or is this more like a Facebook friend you remove? I had that situation recently. There was a much older guy I knew from doing theater together. He had always been nice, but just a little too nice-- with just one trench coat and one unmarked van, he'd have Dateline drooling. But when he requested to be my friend on Facebook, I felt bad saying no, so I approved it.

Soon, he would send me random messages, asking me what I was up to, if I wanted to hang out, etc. Now, if I was a 12-year-old boy and this was a Lifetime movie, I would have said, "Sure!" But, obviously, I ignored it, and one day decided to remove him as a friend. Sure enough, a few weeks later, he realized I had removed him, and he messaged me asking if he had done anything wrong.

Well, yeah, you creep me out more than a Troll doll.

It's amazing how a Facebook friendship can make you feel guilty. Even when you're trying not to get molested.

Fortunately on the blogging side, I only noticed one blog that I had long since heard from and had long since read, so that shouldn't cause any drama. I'm now down to 54 overall, and enjoy all of you.

So, dear readers, here's the new poll question:

Have you maintained a social media relationship out of guilt?

--------------------
* I have managed to get Bailey to pee outside. That counts as one.
** But if I can somehow get to 100 this week, that would be more awesome than Laura Winslow picking Steve Urkel over Stefan Urquelle.... Also, this post is not a guilt trip for anyone. Seriously.
--------------------

Here's the final tally on the last poll, about your favorite regular Wild ARS feature:
1. What I Learned from Cosmo 37 of 150 votes (Good news: I've got a Cosmo and Maxim to review... will do soon)
2. TV Play-by-Play 28 votes
3. Weekend Update, 27 votes
4. (tie) Month in Review 14 votes
4.. (tie) Love Coach cell phone texts 14 votes
6. Co-blogs 13 votes
7. Fake Andy Shaw of the Month, 9 votes
8. Music I Loved Fridays, 8 votes

Although, judging by the response, you all loved the As Seen on TV Week. If I ever get another product, I'll do a post on it.

To discuss where I've been and reasons I love her

You know it's been a while since you last blogged when your girlfriend texts you to see if there's any reason you haven't posted anything in a week.
That's what it came to with Capricorn yesterday. She noticed my last post was my Top Model play-by-play last Thursday. In blog time, that's eons, or about 15,000 minutes more than The Bachelor's allotted minutes of fame.
I assured her I haven't abandoned my love for writing Wild ARS Chase, or, in connection, my love of reading your blogs. In reality, it's been a combination of things:

• I'm moving on up to the east side of my town. That's not as dramatic a move as Haute Pocket did, but it still requires packing everything up, painting walls back to their original color (what, hot pink isn't in these days?), cleaning and lining up all the address changes and utilities. Rich people hire people to do this for them. Considering my tax bracket includes the bracket of people who get hired to do such moving, this isn't an option for me. Or, I could hire homeless people. Possibilities...
  
• I haven't felt great, on and off, for several weeks. It's a series of random headaches that by all accounts and family history are likely migraines, but in any case, it's set me behind. Just another reason I should stop huffing glue.
• Work has become more intense, and I'm trying to write more for my work blog, too.
• And, the best reason: This past Monday was my sixth-month anniversary with Capricorn. So, for the past several days while I was hanging out with her, I decided I wanted to give her all my attention.

Yes, that's right. For those of you who have read Wild ARS since the beginning (it's been 7-plus months), you have read every step of my relationship with Capricorn, down to when she got her nickname.
Most notably, you've read about our weekend adventures together. So, to commemorate six months with the woman I love and in an effort to hear audible gagging through my wireless Internet connection, here are my six favorite Capricandy-blogged weekend moments:

• Fall Fest 2008: We got so excited about it that it took on all the grandeur and celebration of an actual holiday, Flag Day and Arbor Day excluded. We carved pumpkins and saw a movie that shall not be named.
  
• Feliz Navidad 2008: Another faux holiday, another eventful weekend. If you aren't creating fake holidays for yourself, do it. It makes everything more fun and gives you reasons to drink and sing. For this day, we made enchiladas, drank margaritas, watched Home Alone and trimmed the Christmas tree.
• First I Love You: In early December, just before my trip to Atlanta, the following happened: "I got nervous and basically blurted (I love you) out after wanting to say it for weeks. It was akin to romantic Tourettes. Fortunately, she thought it was cute."
• Christmas 2008: A real holiday this time, made special by having Capricorn in my life. Also, it was special because I had to buy Capricorn's dad his gift Christmas morning because the store closed early the night before.
• Trip to Pittsburgh: Any woman who is up for a 4-hour car trip to visit my college friends and my parents is worth keeping around. The kicker: On the way home, a delirious, tired Capricorn busted out this freestyle rap: "Ears are popping, pants are dropping, mountains make me so horny."
• Action-packed: We saw The Wrestler, ate Cheesy Tots, dyed her hair, went bowling, knifed derelicts, breast-fed tiger cubs... the works. I love that she's up for anything.

And that, blog friends, all seems like excellent evidence why the next six months should be great as well. Love you, Capricorn.
(End of mushy stuff)

I appreciate all of you being understanding if I go occasionally AWOL, but, as I noticed in recent weeks, it looks like several of you don't mind if you have one less blog to read from time to time to lessen the Google reader load. I'll get back in the swing of reading/commenting as soon as my Internet connection is set up at my new place, too. Sorry if you mentioned me and I didn't catch it. Please send me to my room and don't give me dessert.
Coming up soon: Top Model play-by-play, MILF, a moving update, Fake Andy and a ShamWow review.

To discuss things I have left jilted at the altar of life

Have you ever hit the wall?

No, not that one time with your parents' car.

I mean metaphorically. I'm having one of those experiences this week. I've hit an Internet wall, just as many of you have. Through a series of busy nights, hectic days, travel-filled weekends and dodging overzealous holiday shoppers like Mario bouncing around Bowser, I haven't had much time to do any blogging this week. Read them, write them, laugh at them, light them on fire, whatever.
I feel weird for feeling ashamed at this, like not putting spare change in the Salvation Army kettle when the dude is ringing the bell with vigor in your direction. There's no obligation, but you feel like you're spitting on baby Jesus if you don't at least throw a Sacagawea dollar in or something.
Because I have so much fun writing for this blog and reading your comments in which you question my sexuality, sanity and ability to use proper grammar, I'll get over the proverbial hump on this, probably by early next week.
That's a welcome change from my past behavior. I am normally the king of "get passionate about something for a couple months and then quit abruptly." I have hobby ADD.
Here's a (UPDATED!) list of things in my life I have, at some point, taken an interest in only to suddenly and inexplicably abandon after a short time like Julie Roberts' fiances in "Runaway Bride":

• Golf
• Playing the piano
• Gymnastics
• Drawing
• Richard Gere (No, wait, that was just Julia)
• Poetry
• Exercising
• Eating healthy
• Politics
• The National Hockey League
• The Bible
• The Bible again, after getting tired of reading about begatting in Numbers and Deuteronomy
  
• The Bible a third time, but only the New Testament after Romans left me feeling like I've sinned in every way possible
• Car maintenance
• Learning Spanish
• Going to graduate school
• Feeling guilt at eating an entire container of Keebler ELF Fudge cookies
• Celebrating the real meaning behind Christmas
• Celebrating the real meaning behind Easter
• Cycling
• Crystal meth (No, wait. That was Crystal Light iced tea.)
  
• Running
• Staying in touch with people
  
• Writing music
• Budgeting
• Updated:
• Reading Les Miserables
• Reading, period
• Recycling more
• Yoga
• MySpace
• AIM
  

What about you?

I'll try to be better next week. I really will.

To discuss Get to Know Me links for you and yours

(Updated list as needed)
When I asked you all to join me in "Get to Know Me" week, I figured maybe one or two of you would join in, grudgingly, and the rest would say, "Andy, COME ON, Twilight just came out, there's no time!"

As always, I underestimate you. Even before we could get to the end of the week, I had several bloggers post their "Get to Know Me" submission. Entries are still being taken and will be added to this list, but let me just say you have a lot to live up to, as these are hilarious, intriguing, and entertaining...

The general rules are to write a post about:
A) Something nobody knows about you, or
B) One of your favorites stories from your childhood, or
C) Your 10 Top Favorite (Fill in the Blank).

Then, let me know you did the dirty deed so I can link you all night long. Ask others to join, too.
If I don't have your link included yet, remind me; I do plan to read every single entry.

Just for joining, here are two special buttons (oh the choices!) you can add on your blog (make sure to direct people to your post).
I'd offer prizes, but I am poorer than that kid in the "Christmas Shoes" song that always makes me sad. Somebody buy that kid a pair of Manolo Blahniks already!

The Get to Know Me list so far:

• KK at Will Work for Shoes talks about her sense of humor as a toddler.
  
• KAT at Funny Gals sets up a bad joke, and then reminds us it's a sad romantic reality.
• SJ, also at Funny Gals, decided she better join in on the fun, too, with a Top 10 list.
  
• AmyXXOO at Insomniatic Musings tells a harrowing tale of a hiking experience that I won't ruin the end of, but it's freaky.
  
• Southern Belle, who hosted a Q&A as part of my own GTNM posts, tells a gruesome and interesting story.
  
• Sam at Yes, I know "Sam" is a boy's name, took Get to Know Me a little literally and posted photos of me from our college choir days. It's worth a visit. Trust me.
  
• Sheila at Here we go... went all out and posted two entries, one on her ADD and the other on.. what was I talking about again? Look, something sparkly. Oh yeah, anyway, the other one is about being a light sleeper.
  
• Joshlos at It's a Bloggyblogworld has a broken heart. Read it and feel sorry for him. Especially because of who was singing at the hospital the day he had surgery.
  
• Newbie to this blog, Sara at My Checked Baggage talks about her celebrity crush and her choice of swear words.
  
• Canadian Áine Caitríona at Smell the Glove offered up one of her old-school posts, a Proust Questionnaire, as a submission.
  
• Soccer mom and proud of it Kisatrtle of Kisatrtle's Kreative Korner (not to be confused with the KKK) offered up 100 things about her.
  
• Jenbun of The Good, the Bad, and the Lovely has 10 Favorite Things about this time of the year, plus she blog-crushes on Ben.
• Miss Tiff of A Bit of Miss Tiff wrote her Top 10 favorite movies, including Home Alone. Nice.
• Little Ms. Blogger at A Little Blog about Nothing gave her guilty pleasure list. Check out number 7.
• Onewandering, who just started reading this blog, decided not to be a lurker and join in on GTNM week by listing her 10 favorite things about the holiday season. There are no mentions of Santa, elves, or turkeys.
• JSauce at GimmeMyTiara told me she'd stop being lazy and actually write a post without the aid of alcohol, so go encourage her.
• Updated:
• The female version of me, Andy, of Life Isn't So Terrible After All, wrote about her favorite things about this year. Andy and I often get mistaken for the other when commenting on other blog sites. I consider it a badge of honor.
• Erin, of The State I Am In, helped give me the idea for my 100 things list. She got her GTNM week on by doing all three ideas... Congratulate her with roses and praise.
• Wee-h at WeeTravelings said she "couldn't resist" joining. She wrote about how discovered.. well, I'll let you find out. One phrase includes "a good suck and I was off to sleep," but she's not talking about what you think.
• Tishtash of My Telephone Booth has a very unique take on a Top 10 list with her fave weird sounds in the office. My favorite sound on the list is the one that makes no sound.
  
• Far of My Everyday Soap (Opera!) got hers up first thing Thanksgiving morning. She's dedicated.
• Kylie of Random Thoughts by Kylie just started her blog this month, and she already is joining in, so check her out.
• Liz of Southern FRYEd, who professes her blog crush on me (much obliged, thank you), weaves a fantastic story about crayon envy and subtraction. Keep it up, Liz.
• Heather at Geiger Girl lists 100 things about her that involve extra toes, Playboy, pot and knees. Interested?
  
• Your turn...
  

To discuss extremely erotic comments after my posts

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